A New Normal

I’ve had a few people ask about how things are going, and I realized it’s been far too long since I’ve updated our blog.  We have been busy and happy.  But we have also been stressed, emotional, exhausted, and it’s been difficult to put an answer to the question “How’s it going?”.
Keem is adjusting very well.  He’s a happy boy, who is fitting in with the family so well.  He starts every morning with a big smile for me, snuggling his new blankie and yes, still sucking his thumb.  Lately Keem and I have been having breakfast alone together, while the rest of the family sleeps.  He chatters away as if we are having a serious conversation.  Half the time he still has his thumb in his mouth, and I don’t understand a word he says.  But when he takes time, and has his mouth free his vocabulary is pretty good.  He says all the kids names, mommy, daddy, yes and no, animal names....he knows a lot more than he says and he’s always surprising us.  He loves playing with toys, and especially when the other kids play with him.  He doesn’t like being alone and so when the kids are busy he will follow me around, usually wrapped to my leg.  He laughs a lot, and has a very mischievous personality.
Slowly he is learning his boundaries, and also learning to be obedient.  One of his biggest challenges has been listening.  We are trying to teach him that when we say his name he can’t ignore us.  At first it felt like all I was doing was saying “no Keem please don’t touch that”.   I was spending my entire day following him around picking up broken things, and it was challenging.  I had to remind myself constantly that I can’t have the same expectations I would have had with the other kids at that age.  He would play in the garbage, toilet, color on the walls, climb onto the counter and grab glasses, empty the knife drawer, and try to leave the house.  We found him wandering around at night and promptly bought a child proof door handle for his room.  Now he can’t get out at night and wander which puts our mind at ease.  He requires our undivided attention, which we expected.  In the moment, it is exhausting. I find myself praying at those moments, praying that God will allow me to be patient and not frustrated. Praying that I don’t feel bitter towards Keem for the way that he acts.  It’s helped me focus on being the kind of parent God wants me to be, instead of agonizing over the things I can’t change right now.  
After we got home, we went to see our families.  It was so exciting to introduce him to our big families, with lots of kids to play with.  He was very comfortable with them, and we were thrilled at the excitement and interest from our families. He already says “Nana and Gramma” quite clearly.
We did start to notice a habit he had been getting into.  He started calling all of our friends, and family ‘MOM”.  At first we thought it was just because it was easier.  But as we watched him, we saw him ask for things, and MOM became a person he could get things from.  So we have started trying to do more things for him directly.  It can be a problem when he goes from one person to the next calling them mom.  It means that he really doesn’t see me (the real mom) as anything different than any other person.  So we have been trying to reiterate that we are the important people in his life.
This has been easier to do lately because we have been under a small quarantine and haven’t been leaving our house.  A bit over a week ago we realized that the boils we had been getting in Guyana, were still showing up on some of us here in Canada.  So Derek went to the doctor and we got tested.  The tests showed that we had brought back a bacteria with us from Guyana.  So for the last week and a half I’ve been cleaning like crazy, disinfecting the house, washing bedding every day, washing floors with bleach, lysol-ing handles, and bathing the kids and ourselves in a special solution.  A few days ago we were told we weren’t contagious as long as we continued with the cleaning regime.  Derek went back to work.  We just put ourselves on a mini quarantine until we know for sure it’s gone.  Today we go to the doctor to get tested and I’m confident that it’s gone.  No one has shown any more symptoms and my house isn’t just clean it’s “Trisha and Elly clean” ;)
It definitely made the stress of having a newly adopted child that much more stressful.  We felt like we had so much more work than usual, and under normal circumstances would have been exhausted.  Keem being here, added a lot more to that and we will be happy when we can relax a bit.
We have also all gone through a bit of homesickness for Guyana.  We miss our friends there, and the ones who aren’t there anymore, but aren’t here.  We miss our rooftop chats with Whitney, Brock, Kalpna and Bharat, and the group of children with them all that felt like our family.  We miss the way of life in Guyana.  This was something I didn’t expect to feel.  One thing I really miss (and I’m not speaking for Derek here!), is the heat!  I loved the heat in Guyana,  I have never gone for so many consecutive days without feeling cold, ever!   Now that we’ve been back, I haven’t worn shorts since we got home.  It’s been jeans and long sleeves for me!  I’m not sure if it really has just been freezing here, or if my body has just gotten so used to the heat that a normal warm Canadian day feels different to me!
That is mostly what has been happening here.  We appreciate all of the people who have been praying for us through this.  I can’t begin to explain how much we need those prayers.  A lot of people might think “Oh good, you are home with your son, now it’s over!”, but in reality it is just beginning for us here.  God has been so good to us, and we are so thankful.  Even in the difficult times, we have found that through those difficulties, He shows us more and more how we need to be dependent on Him.  He’s really been teaching us to let go of so many things and although it hasn’t always been easy we know that moments like these make our relationship with him stronger!

HOME

We are home!  It cost us a small fortune, but we bought tickets for seven and flew out of Port of Spain on friday morning and landed at Pearson at three in the afternoon.  We sailed through customs and immigration without any problems and my Mom and brother Greg pulled up the moment we collected our luggage.  It was awesome to see most of my family that night (my brother Scott and his family couldn’t make it as they had to very unexpectedly attend a funeral), and to meet my new nephew and get the news that my sister is expecting again.  Scott and clan did stop in last night, as well as Raleigh and Cari and Dave and Lisa, Val’s sister whose wedding we had missed.  We are heading over to Val’s family this aft and can’t wait to introduce Keem to grandpa and grandma and everyone else there.  Being gone for so long makes you really appreciate your family.  Its also very moving to see how everyone is so excited about meeting Keem.
Going to church this morning was good too although it seemed like a lot of people were missing, probably camping or cottaging and it seemed very short compared to what we had grown used to.  It was really good to talk to some of the other families there that have already adopted or are going through the process right now.  For my family, this adoption has been a mixture of trials, blessings, adventure, sleepless nights, moments of incredible joy and a whole range of other emotions I can’t quite put into words, but other adoptive families can easily relate to.
Every one keeps saying how good it must be to be home, and they are right, there is nothing quite like home.  But we both have to admit, Guyana also feels a lot like home.  There are many things that we miss already, especially all the people we met and got to know down there.
Right now though, my favourite thing about Guyana is sitting in a car seat behind me.  He is one hundred percent our son now and no judge or social worker or immigration official can say otherwise.  He has been really good here, mesmerized by the amount of space around our yard and the amount of toys in the playroom.  (He doesn’t even realize there are several more rubbermaid bins full in the basement still!)  He seems a little overwhelmed sometimes as everyone is so eager to see him, poke his tummy and touch his curly hair.  His hyper moods are getting more infrequent and shorter lived and he sleeps as though he doesn’t have a care in the world.  We don’t know what the future looks like, what kind of battles he will face, but for now he is safe and comfortable and happy with us, and we are thrilled with him.

CANADA Here We Come!!!

We woke up this morning feeling refreshed and ready to get things done today.  Derek took the kids to the zoo, while I went with 2 of the other parents here to the High Commission (the Embassy) in the hopes of getting our Visas processed.  The security guard looked skeptical when we came, and questioned why we were back so soon.  He mentioned that they had said they would contact us when they had news.  I had given them the wrong set of photos for the application, so at the very least I wanted to drop those off.  So the guard let us through, and we waited.  After about an hour they called us up and said the pictures we had left originally were fine, so we could go home and wait until they called with more news.  We offered to wait there until the applications were done, even if it took all day.  The guard looked at us like we were crazy, and mentioned that they would have to kick us out at lunch because they close down for an hour.  But we insisted on waiting anyway.  Within half an hour we had our processed applications in our hands!  Praise God!!  It felt like Christmas opening the envelope!  We were giddy with excitement as we walked to the zoo to tell the others.  When we got to the zoo, one of the fathers that was with us at the High Commission told Derek that "we have to go somewhere else for the visas now".  He with a deadpan expression as a joke.  Derek just about had a heart attack!
We all felt like celebrating after that, so we walked as a group to the Creole restaurant down the road for lunch, followed by ice cream from the market.  Afterwards we went for a swim at their hotel (our kids in their clothes since we didn't plan to do it).  They had such a good time and it was refreshing on such a hot afternoon.
At 6 we had to say goodbye.  This was harder than we thought it would be.  This group of people that we have gotten to know over the last 6 weeks have become very dear to us.  They have become family to us and we both got choked up saying goodbye.  It's not that we won't see them again, in fact we have already started planning our visits.  It's just that we've gotten used to seeing them, everyday.  We've gone through so much together, and we will miss them incredibly.
Kaylie was sobbing all the way home in the taxi, and again at dinner.  The kids felt how difficult it was too.
Yesterday, I had booked tickets online for a flight on Friday.  The airline allows you to book without paying to reserve a certain ticket price/time.  You have 24 hours to pay.  I went online tonight to pay (22 hours after I booked) and I was told that I couldn't get the original price anymore.  The tickets had gone up by $75 each.  We were very frustrated since we had booked them yesterday with the understanding that we were reserving the ticket price.  Since the price went up so dramatically, it added $600 to our already overly expensive flights.  We are hoping the airline will rectify this, but aren't too hopeful.  It's hard when you are already paying $4000 for a flight, but want to go home so badly that it doesn't even matter anymore.
But, we are coming home!!!!!  By the time we get home it will have been 6 weeks (to the hour) since we left.  We are so excited to go home, see our family and friends and spend the rest of our summer doing typical summer things....camping, swimming, relaxing, BBQ's.....

Goodbye Guyana, Hello Trinidad

We said farewell to Guyana for the last time this morning.  It was a very bittersweet occasion.  On one hand we are very glad to be wrapping up our trip and hopefully coming home soon.  On the other hand we are very sad that we won't be coming back for a long time.  We met a lot of really awesome people and had a ton of really great experiences.  We hope to go back to Guyana one day to show Keem where he came from, but that won't be for a long time.
It's also going to suck not being able to see and talk to the other two families that are here everyday.  They have become like family to us, our kids call them "aunt" and "uncle" and we feel like we have new nieces and nephews.  We have really valued having their help along the way and it's been amazing to be a part of their adoption journeys in some way.  Since their kids are older it's really exciting to see them experience all the new things they've missed out on.  Even simple things like escalators, automatic toilets and hand dryers!  Keem is oblivious to all of these things and doesn't realize what he's even been missing out on.
We will really miss our new friends, but we will be visiting often.
Now we are finally in Trinidad.  It was a rough day.  We had been up since 2 am, travelling with 5 kids is very difficult especially when one of them is an unruly, wild maniac.  On top of that Val was feeling very sick and it's blistering hot on this island.  We got a cute little b&b on the outskirts of Port of Spain which is one of the most beautiful cities I've ever been to.
Val went directly to the High Commission this morning with our paperwork.  We are still waiting for them to finish but tentatively it MIGHT be done tomorrow afternoon.  It will be so nice to have the waiting over with.
Booking last minute flights is proving to be very expensive, but it would have been more expensive to book and then have to change 7 tickets.  After all this expensive travelling my next trip will involve just a mini van and a tent.
Please pray that tomorrow goes smoothly, or if it doesn't that we have enough patience to get through it anyways.  

Trinidad Tuesday

Tonight, we've officially been away from home for 5 weeks.  We are ready to go home.  It's bittersweet, there is so much about Guyana that we love.  People we have met, we will miss the other families that are here with us so much when we leave.  I will miss the hot hot weather, but Derek will be glad to see that go.  Both of us, and the kids are excited to go back to our Canadian life.  We miss our family, friends, our own beds, bug free living, free medical care, late night campfires, Derek even misses the firehall.  Our health is deteriorating at an alarming rate, every single one of us has had a painful boil, mouth infection, serious cut or missing half their skin from mosquito bites.  Some of us have a combination of many of those ailments. I think at this rate we might have to go right to the doctor's office from the airport. 
Yesterday we booked our flights to Trinidad.  We leave Guyana at 6 am on Tuesday morning!
Booking the flights is a bit of a risk.  We have yet to receive confirmation from Trinidad that our citizenship will be processed next week when we go.  No one is willing to give us a definite answer on that.  But we are anxious to get home, and so we are taking a chance on going now.  Being there in Trinidad, at the High Commission will likely get it processed faster than sitting here in Guyana.  We are hoping that because they have not said "No we won't be doing it" that means it's likely that they will.  If all goes well we plan to fly HOME on Thursday or Friday!!!  But we say that very tentatively.  IF the paperwork goes through, IF we get it all done by then, that is the plan.  Praying that it will go as planned!!  Staying in Trinidad is 5 times more expensive than staying here in Guyana.  We really don't want to stay there long because we are already low on cash as it is!  But we are confident it's a risk worth taking.
Things with Keem are going well.  He is a lot of work.  Derek and I are exhausted.  He is dangerously hyper sometimes and we have to watch him like a hawk.  He also has a very hard time in the apartment.  There are so many things he can reach that he should not be touching that it makes it very hard to be obedient.  There isn't a lot of things for the kids to do here other than swim, so all of them are getting very antsy in this apartment.  We are hoping that once we get home Keem will mellow out a bit, get into more of a routine, and things will feel more normal.
This week we went to a place about an hour from here called Splashmins.  It's a black water creek out by the outskirts of the jungle.  It was a great break from being here everyday, and the kids had a blast swimming.  We also took a boat ride through the jungle there.  We saw a monkey, some parrots and even bubbles from an alligator under our boat.  Derek caught an iguana there.  On the way home we stopped by a road side stand that was selling large iguanas for eating.  I was thankful to hear they were too expensive for us to buy because I didn't feel like skinning and cooking up a large lizard for supper.  I think Derek was pretty disappointed though.  Instead, I bought him salted shark at the market, which ended up tasting horrible and we threw half of it out.  I guess you get what you pay for!
Today we went out for ice cream for the third time here at Bruster's Ice Cream place.  The best ice cream I've had- ever.  For the same price as a small iguana we bought our kids and our selves massive double scooped ice cream cones and a mini bus ride to Georgetown.  

Derek's Kaieteur Falls Video #2

It was the trip of a lifetime, something I dreamed of doing ever since I heard of the falls two and a half years ago when we started researching Guyana, but really an the kind of adventure I've dreamed of my whole life!   I went with Brock, one of the other Dads here, and we flew out of Ogle Airport, just down the road from our place.  The flight itself was worth the price.  ($27,000 or $140 Can)  Flying over the vast jungle,winding mudy creeks, tiny villages and the mighty Demarara and Esequibo rivers was breath taking, and you realy get an idea of how remote and rugged this country is.  After forty minutes the flat, swampy rainforest turns to mountainous plateaus covered in thick jungle.  And then you see it and its almost surreal.  Our pilot did a fly by and landed on an airstrip close by.  After a twenty minute hike, this was our first view from land.

We hiked along the ravine and took in the view from several vantage points.   What is really awesome about Kaieteur is that there are no gates, fences, garbage, graffiti, security guards or crowds of people.  The Falls and the whole area is completely pristine.  The canyon walls have a sharp edge and concave walls which gives you a great opportunity to lay on the edge and peak over it!

To give this perspective, Kaieteur is 741 feet high, making it the highest single drop water falls in the world.  It is roughly five times the height of Niagara!  Just being that close it stirs up so many strange feelings.  One is in complete awe at its power and it makes you feel pretty small and insignificant. Getting up after laying on the edge left me trembling!



Years from now, I want to take the family back to Guyana, and show Keem where he came from. And take the boys back to the falls, maybe by boat part way up the river and then hike the rest of the way in.  (Its a five day trip if you take a plane back home.)

Derek's Kaieteur Falls Video #1

BBQ's and Boils

Not a lot new to report today.  We are currently waiting on the Guyanese birth/adoption certificate to come in, which hopefully will be done by Wednesday at the latest.  Then, we will apply for a Guyanese passport.  The waiting is tough, we love it here, but now we are excited to get home.
We are all dealing with skin boils, which I think are just from the unbelievable amount of mosquito bites/open wounds on the kids especially, combined with foreign bacteria.  They are extremely painful for the kids especially and we can't seem to stay completely healthy here!   I am also very much looking forward to eating healthy again as it is a challenge to do that here.  A lot of the food here is amazing, but I miss salads, and my stomach will be very thankful to be back home.  Aside from all that though, things are going well here.  Last night we were treated by the owners of the apartment building we live in to a real Guyanese BBQ by the pool.  It was so generous of them, and so much fun.  We had some of the best beef, chicken, mutton and fish that we've ever had, BBQed over a hot coal/wood BBQ.  There was so much to eat that all five couples there went home with enough for a full meal for their families!!  Afterwards we had a karaoke night, complete with the mic and screen.  It was so much fun, and we all had a great time!  My favourite was watching Derek, the owner of our apartment, his friend and the two other dad's here sing their version of Queen's "We are the Champions".  Very entertaining to say the least.  There are so many things about being here that we love, it will be very hard to leave.  But home is looking very good to us at the same time, and we will be thrilled to come home.
As I write this, Derek is soaring high above the clouds in a mini plane on his way to Kaieteur Falls with one of our friends here.  This is, for Derek, a trip of a lifetime.  He's wanted to do a trip like this for as long as I've known him.  They will fly to the waterfall, which is about 5 times taller than Niagara Falls, without barriers.  I think they get a few hours to explore the falls, and then fly home around 4 pm.  I would have loved to go with him, but it's not easy to get a sitter around here (unless you count the fish lady who offered a few weeks ago I don't think I know any teenage girls who would be willing around here!  I knew I should have brought Rachel or Macayla!).  I also felt a bit nervous about both of us going on the same plane.  I am sure it will be a very exciting and safe trip, but I didn't want to go with him on the chance that something happened, or even delayed them coming home.  Praying they will return safely and I'm so excited for Derek!  He will be in his element.

Promising News

This morning, after countless emails and phone calls to almost everyone we could think of who might have connections or pulls, we received our first glimmer of hope.  An email, addressed to us, and the two other families here, stating that the High Commission in Trinidad will look at our documents as soon as we get them.  They said they can "make no promises", but that they will do their best to accommodate us as soon as it is possible to do so.  We don't want to get too excited but they asked us when we were planning to come (and we told them our July 15-19 date we were given here for the finalization of the birth certificates and passports), and they said they would see what they could do!!
So, although it's not concrete, there is HOPE!!!!  Thanks for all the support we've been getting from all of our readers, we appreciate it!  Hopefully we will be able to go home mid July as originally planned....I'll keep you posted!
Also, for those of you who have been trying to Skype us and have not been getting through, sorry!  Our internet has been very unreliable, especially in the mornings.  There has also been a few nights without any power here and that seems to have an affect on the internet as well.  Keep trying as it's still hit and miss.

This morning, Derek is off to the adoption board with the other men.  We are getting some kind of certificate signed and I think applying for an official document, although I'm not really sure what it is.  I'm not sure if they are coming home with the document we need, or if this is just the application for that document.  Either way it's the first step of this end of the process.  Next week we will be able to apply for a Guyanese passport.

My Sister's Wedding

Yesterday I got to see my sister walk down the aisle.  I did not fly home, although I had toyed with the idea, the extra cost of flying home wasn't something we could handle right now.  But at 2:00 my very thoughtful Aunt Pam, all wired up with her Ipad, earphones and facebook message, called me on Facetime so I could take part in my sister's wedding!
I had started the day out pretty sad.  My sister was getting married and I was going to miss it.  It was an emotional thought, such a huge day for her, and my family, I really wanted to be home.  But when I saw her on Facetime, walking down the aisle, I felt almost as if I were home.  It was actually bizarre, people could see me, I could recognize people.....I didn't expect it to be so clear!  I think if I had known that I was so clear to everyone else  I would have dressed up a bit, or at least combed my hair!  Well, Lisa and her girls looked stunning, and Dave looked very dashing.   It was so exciting to see my family, nieces and nephews, grandparents, aunts and uncles and some friends through the "looking glass".   I think my Opa was amazed at the whole thing, maybe an Ipad will replace his video camera in the near future?

Aunt Pam, and Uncle John called me a few times during the course of the evening so I could get the full picture of the day.  I saw the vows, the signing, and even some speeches and a slide show at the wedding!  I even had my picture taken with my sister, now that is something that I didn't expect.  Thanks for that Phil!  

Aunt Pam, and Uncle John, thank you, thank you, thank you!  That was a memorable experience, and I am so grateful! 

 Lisa and Dave, congratulations!  I am so glad I was able to be part of your day!  

Derek's tirade about the inept and useless Can. Gov.

This is proving to be the most exasperating Canada day week end ever experienced!  We were informed on thursday morning that the immigration officer in charge of our case is leaving his position. This means we have to wait till August when he has been replaced in order to be able to have our file processed.  No one at the Canadian High Commission in Trinidad will give us an answer as to when in August, so it could be the end of the month meaning possibly coming home in the beginning of September.  We are basically caught in a legal state of limbo, Keem being our son and not being able to  enter Canada.  There is apparently no one in with enough authority in Trinidad that can even grant a temporary travel visa for him.  The two other families here are in the same position and are equally frustrated, perhaps even more as they have not been able to take paternal leave like I have.  Aside from being stranded here and wanting to come home to introduce my new son to everyone, and go camping up north, and see Greg's new baby and be part of all the things going on back home, dealing with all these bureaucrats is driving me insane.  Friday was a day for me and the other two fathers, of countless emails and never ending phone calls, which resulted in getting nowhere.  "Why can we not go to the embassy in Barbados?"  "Because you can't"  "Why not?"  "Because Guyanese people have to go to the embassy in Trinidad". "Why only Trinidad?"  "Because that is where Guyanese people go". There seems to be no one who can answer our questions or give us an alternative.  My blood almost reached its boiling point when we all took our families, nine kids and six adults, in a mini bus down to the Canadian Embassy in Georgetown, thinking we could sit down and have a conversation with some one who could explain what options we have.  That didn't happen!  Instead we were told the moms and kids had to wait outside, the dads could come in but not get through security and were told to wait in a small room.  We were then given a phone, which we shared, to talk to some unknowledgeable, unsympathetic and rude diplomat! Our MPs and Jason Kenney (cabinet minister for citizenship and immigration) have been made aware of this situation.  We will have to wait and see if they able or are willing to do anything about this.  I'm not holding my breathe.  Its funny that in adoption circles, people often say, "expect delays when you are working with a third world government".  Our experience is proving to be the opposite.  It's our own government that is showing itself to be inept, ignorant and inadequate at helping its own citizens.

Keem Irving Slingerland, It's Official!

So it's official.  We have a new son, and Keem has a new family!!!

We met with the adoption board yesterday, as you know, and that meeting went very well.  We spent a full hour waiting for what ended up being only a ten minute interview.  When we say interview, what we mean is 3 random questions, and some handy tips on how to get Keem to stop sucking his thumb.  Dealing with the Guyanese officials has been great, aside from being difficult to understand at times and the lack of a concrete schedule.  We've found them to be very practical and easy going.
Today's meeting was very similar in that we spent half an hour waiting for a 5 minute appearance before the judge, whose only words to us were "Your family is big enough now" or something along those lines.  We think he was joking, but hard to tell.  We weren't even sure if the verdict was positive, or when the meeting was over.  They just told us we could leave, and we actually had to ask our lawyer if it was accepted.   It was one of the most anti climatic moments, but afterwards we were elated.  Keem is finally ours!
After court we and the two other families who we are with here, whose hearings were all at the same time as ours went out for ice cream to celebrate.  We ordered the largest 3 scoop waffle cones they had and by the time we were done the kids were all covered in ice cream.  We walked through the hustle and bustle of the outskirts of Stabroek market to get there, which was quite the feat with 9 small kids, but it was totally worth the walk.  Keem devoured a massive bowl on his own, and it truly was a celebration.

The men managed to convince a mini bus driver to take the whole lot of us home for a mere $7.00 Canadian total!  It was significantly cheaper than a taxi, and we could all ride together which was a blast for the kids.  Also, taxis have been giving us a hard time about fitting seven people in a little hatchback taxi.  Most dispatchers recognize us when we call for them and are now requiring us to call two taxis, even though we've been using just one for almost 3 weeks now.  Kind of frustrating, but considering the difference in regulations compared to Canada, I suppose we've gotten away with a lot up to this point.
We feel we should clarify the rest of the process coming up, in case you think this is the end of our trip. Keem is officially a Slingerland, but he is not yet a Canadian.  First, we have to wait for the Adoption Order and new birth certificate, which generally takes a week.  Then, we need to apply for a Guyanese passport, which also generally takes a week.  Normally after this we would head to Trinidad, to the Canadian High Commission to get Canadian citizenship, which in the past has taken about 5 days.
Today we found out this might not be happening as planned.  The man in charge of the process in Trinidad has left his position, and we found out today that his replacement doesn't come in until August.  We received an email informing us that our application will not even be looked at until sometime in August, and that we should not be making travel plans to Trinidad until then.
This was a huge shock to everyone here, as we had all planned to be home by the end of July, at the latest.  This would potentially add 1 or 2 months to our stay here in Guyana.
We are exploring some other options, and planning to visit the Canadian embassy here tomorrow morning, to hopefully get some answers.  We are hoping that we are able to either get a temporary visa, and possibly finalize this all in Canada, or get permission to travel to Barbados to finish the paperwork there.  All the other families are on a massive campaign sending emails to their mp's and we plan to do the same, so we are hopeful that something can be done, otherwise, we will see you in September!
We aren't worried about this new development, just thrown off guard and slightly annoyed....ok, very annoyed.  We were looking forward to being able to enjoy the last half of the summer in Canada, and it is also going to cost us a lot more.  Either way our family is all together and Keem is ours and no one can change that.  What else could we want?  We are so thankful to God for this day, and our new son!

Adoption Hearing Success

We've completed the first of the two meetings scheduled this week and it went very well!  Praising God for this!  Tomorrow at 2:30 we will be meeting with the High Courts and if all goes well, will have everything finalized.  Keem will legally be a Slingerland!  And he will also officially be our son (although he has already been our son in our hearts for a long time).  After our hearing tomorrow we will post a more detailed post on our experience with both hearings, but for now we are happy to share our news with you all.  We are so thankful to God that we have gotten this far and everything has gone so smoothly.  Thank you for your prayers today, we are so blessed to have such a community of friends, family and believers uplifting us in prayer during this process!
Today was a better day than yesterday.  Derek spent the night awake with Keem and let me get some sleep.  I didn't feel quite so exhausted and enjoyed the day.  I have a very thoughtful husband, and I am so thankful to have him around so much now!   Before the trip he was working so much and it's almost surreal having him around all the time now.  Keem is actually turning into quite the daddy's boy and it's awesome to watch him cling to Derek like he's always been his daddy.  I'm so relieved that he has developed such a strong bond with him because on our first trip he wouldn't even let Derek hold him.  He's come such a long way from that.  Derek already has him jumping off his shoulders in the pool!  It's very cute, and his daredevil spirit reminds me a lot of Ryan at that age.  He also has Ryan's stubborn streak which might prove to be a challenge later on!
 Jack was feeling a tiny bit better, slowly but surely he's starting to eat, laugh and smile again.  Hopefully tomorrow will be even better for him, and he will begin to be himself.
For now, the kids are all snuggled soundly in their beds, covered head to toe in baby powder so they don't stick to the sheets from the heat, and solarcane, so they don't itch the bug bites (which are hovering around 100+ a person right now).  By the time we get up north this summer my children are going to be immune to mosquitos!

Ailments and Adoption Hearings

Tomorrow is the first of our two 'big days' here in Guyana.  At 3:00 we meet with the adoption board.  If all goes as expected we will meet with the High Court on Thursday some time (we haven't been given a specific time yet).  We are confident all will go well tomorrow, but would love your prayers regardless.  It is a bit nerve wracking all these meetings, because each step is so important and so much is at stake.
As Derek wrote last post, Keem finally got over his fever only to have a big bout of cold sores show up.  I ended up taking him to the hospital for it and got a prescription for some cream.  A few days ago we started seeing a huge improvement and started clearing up a lot.  We also realized at that time that Jack was starting to get sores in his mouth.  Now Keem is better, but Jack's mouth is so sore he hasn't been able to eat in days.  I believe it is the same thing as Keem had, but if it doesn't look better by Friday I am planning to take him to the hospital as well.  Poor Jack is so fragile already with his skinny little body, and he's also the most sensitive.  It's painful to watch him suffer through this, and although he's trying to be brave he is on the verge of tears all the time.  His mouth is bleeding, and his gums, and I'm praying it heals quickly.  I am thankful that the gas station down the road sells powdered nutritional formula, which is all he has been eating the last few days.
Other than our ailments our family is doing well here.  We have been swimming a lot, and Keem has actually gotten to the point where he jumps in on his own and floats around on his back with his life jacket.  For a kid who never went swimming before he is a natural!  It's very cute to watch him experiment.  We have been so thankful for the other families here who are adopting as well.  It's so much fun having all the kids around to play with and we have throughly enjoyed the company and new friendships we have.  We all are going through the same thing to some degree and so we all seem to understand each other.  It's also wonderful having other adults to talk to during the course of the day.
We are also incredibly thankful for our landlords, the owners of the building we are living in.  They've made us feel so welcome, and we have started to really look forward to our weekend movie evenings with them.  We feel very blessed for these small things, good company and new friends.  It makes the harder parts of being here a lot more tolerable.  It's comforting to know that God cares even about things like that.
Please pray that all will go well tomorrow, and Thursday.  And also pray Jack's mouth would heal quickly and that no more of our children will have to suffer through that.

Parenthood

Its late at night and Keem doesn't want to sleep.  It's cool out, which is good because the power is out and I'd be missing the fan in our bedroom on any other night.  Val is laying down with Keem till he falls asleep.  He keeps getting out of bed.  Its hard to decide on what is a good idea for his habit of not staying in bed. Be firm and set the precedent of how things ought to be, or be patient.  Everything is still new, sometimes a little scary for him and we don't want to push back any of the gains we have made bonding with him.  Val has been terrific.  Very patient, but firm with him.  It is sometimes easy to forget how young he is because he is physically quite big, not chubby, but tall and broad.  And he moves very quickly!  Its nice to hear him call her "MaMa".  He has learned that recently because at the orphanage, she was always called mother.  Sometimes when I see the two of them together it almost seems surreal, other times they look so natural together, its like they have known each other for Keem's whole life.  I have started to become the fun guy to him, the tickler and the guy who will cary him on my shoulders, while Val is really becoming a mom to him.  She is the one he runs to when he is hurt.  He goes to her when he wants a drink.  She has the preferred lap when he is tired.  It is beautiful to watch this relationship grow so quickly.
Talked to my brother Greg on Skype last night.  He and his wife Courtney just had a baby boy.  Landon.  Hard to believe that the next time I see my brother, we will be introducing our new sons to each other!  So excited for them but a little sad I won't be able to hold Landon as a tiny new born.  It's funny to think back that when Ryan was born eight years ago, I really had no idea how awesome being a father would be.  Greg is in the same boat now, not even being able to fully appreciate how his life will be enriched. He will put his heart and soul into raising Landon.  It will be exciting to see their new family and I hope he experiences the same joy as I have. 

John B Dykes, Hand Shaking Monkeys and Lock that woman up!

Internet here has been a little sketchy the last couple days, so we haven't posted anything in a while.  The week is flying by and our court date is fast approaching - next Wednesday with the adoption board and Thursday with the actual courts.  In the mean time we have adjusted quite well to living here.  I have gotten used to the heat, and Val is really mastering Guyanese cooking.  Last night we had provisions - root vegetables and plantains boiled in coconut milk with hot sauce and cane sugar.  Tonight was curry chicken, rice and roti.  Val didn't make the roti, but the curry she made was fantastic.
The three boys are eating her food up like crazy but my daughters prefer peanut butter sandwiches
Keem had two pb sandwiches dipped in curry sauce for dinner tonight!
Sunday was a nice day.  We want to a different church and it was also two and a half hours long!  Must be the norm down here.  All of our Free Reformed readers would appreciate that we started the service with a hearty rendition of a John Baccus Dykes psalter, number 293, I believe.  (Rebels who have dared to show)  It was sung by a male choir, accompanied by a keyboard doing a loud drum beat, a bass guitar and a flute!  All organ loving purists out there( Uncle Gary ) would have been having anxiety attacks.  Also a woman was removed from church after speaking in tongues or something, not sure what, and then went on screaming prophecies at the congregation from outside the window.  Several times the pastor stayed calm and the elders left the church to escort the woman down the street. After the fifth episode he had lost his patience and yelled " somebody call the police and get that woman locked up!"  We talked to a lot of friendly people after the service, and several people recognized us.  We caught up with a friendly cab driver who had shuttled us around the day before, a woman who worked at Keem's orphanage, and even his paediatrician worships there.  Great sermon about the biblical description of fatherhood.
We spent the aft at the sea wall, which is a concrete wall that holds back the tide.  (Georgetown is six feet below sea level at high tide)  We were there at low tide and the beach is about four hundred feet to the water.  The water looks like chocolate milk from all the silt flowing from the Demarrara river.  The kids were pretty excited to see thousands of crazy fish with eyes on top of their heads sitting in an inch of mud. When approached they took off skipping on the surface of the water, like flying fish.
We also went to the zoo this week, which was pretty awesome.  The kids loved it.  They have the most beautiful macaws, a very playful giant otter, a sleepy jaguar and lots of turtles (Jacks favourite).  There was a cage full of anacondas that could be touched by poking your fingers through the cage.  There also was a cage full of black caimans (alligators, one about ten feet long) behind a flimsy chain link fence.  We didn't let our kids touch those!  The high light of the trip was this very friendly monkey who  extended his arm out of the cage and shook hands with all of the kids.  Keem was a little hesitant at first, but he eventually reached out and touched the monkey too.
Keem is fitting in with us really well.  We have noticed he has two modes, one where he is calm and very content to sit with either Val or me and just suck his thumb.  The other mode is when he is crazy hyper and becomes a real wild man.  We often have to pull him down from climbing the steel bars that cover our windows, as he is able to get six feet up, and then falls backwards onto the couch!  He runs around like a maniac and we have to sit him down before he smashes into things.  Hopefully he mellows out when the novelty of his new family wears off.  He is doing very well in the pool especially since its only been a few days of swimming.  He floats around in his life jacket and loves jumping off the side into our arms.
Fortunately he has gotten rid of his fever, only to be replaced by some painful looking cold sores.  Staff at the home said this was normal for him because he is a huge thumb sucker and the cream we had been using should clear it up, but when we noticed them inside his mouth this morn, we decided to take him in to doctor to get checked out.  Val got some pills and better cream and some good advice on how to care for it so hopefully it heals up quickly.

Everyday life in Guyana

The last few days have been wonderful.  Sorry we haven't posted anything, we have been busy, and since we are going to be here for another 4 weeks or so we don't anticipate being able to write something new every night!  We've settled into a bit of a routine here in our new life, and the days are starting to look very similar.
Most days the kids are up by 7, at the latest.  After breakfast they are already dying to go down to the pool.  Derek will either take one of them to the local market, or we will all go as a family.  The market is about a 15 minute walk from our apartment.  It's full of fruits, vegetables, and pretty much anything else you could want from toothpaste, to bleach, to hardware supplies, to fresh fish or not so fresh chicken feet.  The vendors are very friendly and are recognizing us right away now (obviously we don't blend in well).  They offer lots of insight on how to cook certain produce there, and we don't recognize half of the different fruits and veggies there so they find it quite entertaining to inform us on what they all are.  They look at us like we are nuts that we have never heard of Eddo, Cassava, or five fingers.
The road there is extremely busy so it's a challenge taking 5 little ones to the market without getting run over by a car or a donkey.  Derek thinks I'm paranoid, but it's a stressful walk for me.
We are meeting lots of new friends here.  There is a couple from Toronto who are also adopting, a brother and sister from two different orphanages, that had never met before two days ago!  They are extremely nice, and we've had a great time getting to know them, and our kids love to play together.  Last night we were invited to a kids movie night in the home of the owner of our apartment (it is also in the building we are in).  It was a wonderful night!  He had set up a projector in his living room and all the kids watched movies, ate popcorn and drank cream soda.  Probably the last thing we expected to do in Guyana!  It was a really fun evening.  Today we had a woman over for the afternoon to visit.  She is a person who has a very special bond with Keem since he arrived at the orphanage.  We met her at the orphanage in February, and have been keeping contact with her since then.  She came bearing cupcakes and gifts for the kids, and it was obvious that Keem was thrilled she was there.  We owe a lot to her as Keem seems very well adjusted compared to many kids in the home.  "Auntie Chris" will always be part of his life.
Keem has been adjusting well to life here with us.  He has had a fever though and it's hard to tell how he is feeling or what he is feeling when he is not well.  Last night was a difficult night.  It's hard to know if he's feeling scared or overwhelmed by his new environment, or just acting like any other two year old who doesn't want to go to sleep, or isn't feeling well.  He cried for a while last night in bed and I was tired so I brought him into our room to sleep, which was not restful at all.  And perhaps we set a precedent for tonight when he promptly screamed when we put him to bed.  There is a fine line between being firm and being too firm, setting back the attachment we've gained in the last few days.  I think it's different for every case and we are learning as we go!  We've taken every course in the book on this but when you are in it, it's so case specific, it's hard to say there is only one way to do things (and none of the books we read have discussed how to put a screaming toddler to bed in a room with four other children, two of which he is sharing a bed with!).
But, they are all asleep now, and hopefully I won't be faced with that situation again in the middle of the night......
Our Canadian kids are starting to feel at home here, we can tell because they are starting to fight about things and complain about being bored.  Even though we spent most of the day lounging around the pool, it takes about 5 minutes of doing nothing and they are bored out of their minds.  Next week we plan to do a few day trips so we will keep you posted.

Got Him!

As we sit here to write this blog post, all five of our precious children are asleep in the room next to ours.
The day started off as it usually has here in Guyana.  Breakfast, followed by a looooonggg anxious wait with kids whining, fighting and itching to get out of the apartment.  We've been waiting for some paperwork to come through that needed to be picked up at the children's services office in order to bring Keem back to our apartment to begin the foster period.  He will be allowed to live with us until the court date, when he officially becomes a Slingerland.  This morning we sent out a few emails and phone calls, trying to decide if we should wait around until we heard something, or just go and wait at the home.  By 11:00 Derek had enough and we called a cab to go to the orphanage.  We had to go downtown to the Scotia bank and get some Guyanese money and it felt like it took forever to get the errands done with four kids in the back of a small taxi.  Derek got caught in a torrential downpour and was soaked to the skin for most of the day.  Derek thought it was pretty awesome being able to withdraw 30,000 dollars from the ATM machine, leaving 2 million dollars still available. Too bad it doesn't quite hold the same value!!
We were very happy to get to the orphanage, and the kids ran right upstairs as they are feeling quite at home there now.  All the kids there screamed our names as soon as they saw us, and for the first time ever Keem went to Derek instead of me!  It was a huge step and we were thrilled.
The director informed us immediately that our paperwork had come in after all and we could go pick it up after lunch and take Keem home after that!  So, once Derek went out to get the paperwork, we got as much information from the home as we could about Keem, and his stay there, and we were sent on our way.
For a kid who has hardly left the home, he had quite the day.  A ride in a taxi, first swim in a pool, watching a disney movie about chimps, eating french fries with KETCHUP (new fav. food!)......it was an over stimulating day for him.  The biggest change of all was having 4 brothers and sisters following him around, single file, watching his every move.  "Keem look at this!"  "Mom, look what Keem did!" "Keem, sit by me!!".......trying desperately to make him laugh, make him feel comfortable, and welcome him into the family.  It was very cute, and we were proud of our kids.  They took him in and he was their brother immediately.  Considering all this change, and the trauma of leaving his home, Keem was very brave today.  He didn't cry, in fact he spent a good part of the day giggling at the kids.  The only time I saw him apprehensive was in the pool.  Even then, he didn't really want to get out, he just didn't look like he trusted it.  It was a bit scary for him, and overwhelming.
All in all, it was a good day.  We are incredibly thankful that he is home with us, and overwhelmed by God's goodness to us in our lives.
Tomorrow we plan to relax by the pool for the day.  It will be a welcome change to the busyness of the last few days.

Eaten alive

We are starting to look like we are in Guyana.  What I mean by that, is we are all covered, head to toe with mosquito bites.  Someone told us you can tell you've been to Guyana by looking at your arms, and it really is true.  Derek is getting the least of it, and he doesn't seem to feel them at all, but myself and the kids are covered....and ITCHY.  The bugs are so small they come through the screens, and we are too cheap to pay extra to run the air all night (the meter is in our kitchen and the air causes the hydro we have left to go down dramatically, and we've begun to get quite accustomed to the hot nights, we don't really need the air on).  But, I'm sure as time goes on we will also get used to the bugs and they won't seem so bad either.  

Today we did not get to take Keem home yet.  The paperwork is getting done, but isn't quite yet there and although it was disappointing, we are trying to stay positive about it and look at the good things in it.  There is a benefit to being able to visit him at the home.  He is really starting to open up and today we heard him giggle and laugh and talk more than any other time we have before.  He sung the alphabet to me (or his version of it), spent a good half hour laughing at Ryan's games, and even started running towards Derek laughing.  It was a happy day, and although we are getting antsy not being able to have him in our home, we love the kids at the orphanage and leaving them will be hard too.

It poured rain for a lot of the day today, which was refreshing and muddy and by the end of the day our kids looked like they were vagabonds, covered in mud, sweat and mosquito scars.  It is rainy season here, but so far we have been fortunate to see a lot of sun between the rain, and the rain is a welcome relief to the extreme heat.  

Birthdays and Bureaucracy

Bureaucracy has prevented us from taking Keem home today.  We were hoping to go to the orphanage this morning, and pick him up, beginning our 'fostering period' with him, but red tape has slowed down the process once again.  We are hopeful that it will happen tomorrow, and it won't have any impact on our court date.  The people who are helping us down here are doing their best to move it along so we aren't too worried.

On the up side, it was Jack and Kaylie's birthday today!  Seven years old.....it's hard to believe it's been that long since they were tiny little premies! Seems like just yesterday we were camped out in the hospital in London for two weeks with our two little tiny babies.  It's amazing how time flies, and we are so incredibly thankful for them.  They were great at the orphanage today.....Kaylie has been working hard at winning Keem over, and has been sharing her things with lots of the other kids at the orphanage (this doesn't come naturally for her).  Jack is a natural with little kids, he seems to have a sensitivity that most seven year old's don't often have.  He is probably the one of our kids who has been spending the most time with Keem, trying to make him feel comfortable, playing with him and loving him.  

I spent the morning on the rooftop doing our laundry (with an incredible view of the ocean, brown as it is!) and Derek took the twins to the market down the road to pick up some fruit and veggies.  Mangos, pineapples, bananas.....so good here!  He also picked up some kind of herb that is in everything here, and I made my first attempt at a traditional Guyanese cookup for lunch.  Cookup is basically rice, boiled in coconut milk and spices and mixed with veggies, chickpeas, and meat (although we didn't have meat so ours was vegetarian).  Not too bad for a first try....needed more spice (Derek said needed more meat).  Jack and Ryan loved it, and loaded it up with green seasoning sauce (which is Jacks new favourite condiment, a mixture of chives, garlic, pepper, ginger, thyme and vinegar).  We are definitely developing a taste for spicy guyanese food.

Keem was very relaxed today.  As soon as we got to the home he made a beeline for me and pretty much never left my side unless I passed him to Derek.  He was much more comfortable switching back and forth between the two of us compared to yesterday.  We were able to spend a lot of time outside today because it wasn't near as hot as days before, and the staff only let a handful of kids outside at a time so it wasn't utter chaos.  

We snuck out after supper, because long goodbyes are very hard for Keem, and yesterday he cried himself to sleep when we left.  We can't wait to bring him to our temporary home here in East Bank Demerara, and not have to say goodbye again.

Day Two - Flipp'n Awesome

Well today went a lot smoother!  The kids had slept for at least twelve hours and Val and I were refreshed as well.  The day started off cool (30 degrees instead of 35) and rainy.  We had met a whole bunch of people who came to the orphanage yesterday who were singing awesome praise songs and playing with the kids.  Some of them friended Val on Facebook and invited us to their church.  What an experience!  Loud praise music and dancing for well over an hour, communion with very passionate believers and a great message for men to be leaders with a Godly spirit, all lead by a pastor with exceptional charisma!  The kids were having fun for the first half hour, but soon started to ask "Is it almost over?"  After two and a half hours, yes you read that right, 2.5 hours the kids were getting very eager to leave to say the least.  It was great though and the minister had a good message about fear that Ryan could relate to.  Half way through the service the pastor asked us to stand, so everyone could pray for us, which was very touching.  He then asked if we were related to Bernie Slingerland from Arizona!  No matter where you are in the world you can't avoid playing Dutch Bingo!  A great young man named Seon walked with us to the orphanage.
Poor Keem was not happy to see me.  I walked into the common room where the kids play and sleep to go get him.  Val and the rest of our kids stayed out in the hallway, so as to not get all the others riled up.  Keem took off running as soon as he saw me and I didn't know what to do, chase after him, pick him up and put up with his screaming till he got over his fear or just leave him till he was ready.  All kinds of other kids were reaching up to me, and Kevon, a boy who I have a real soft spot for and who recognized me instantly from our last trip clung to my legs and sobbed.  When Val heard all the commotion, she came to the room.  Keem ran from her crying, obviously scared and confused but then clung to her neck tightly when she finally caught him.  After that he was fine.  They left the room to play with our other kids out in the hall.  The rest of the kids had gotten themselves worked up into indescribable anarchy!  I thought I had better stay in there with the one caregiver and try to help restore some order, despite being the one who had caused all the trouble.  I sat down on the bed while five little kids fought each other for a spot on my lap.  Some hits were exchanged, there was some biting going on and one little sweetie peed all over my lap.  I had to laugh, otherwise you could cry about how starving for attention and love these kids are.
Keem was great today.  It didn't take long for him to warm up to Val and he even sat with me for a while this aft. He started to take some real interest in his new brothers and sisters, who also loved playing with him today. They all took turns holding his hand and walking around with him. The real breakthrough for me came when Chris, a lovely woman who volunteers at the home and has given Keem a lot of extra love and attention, came this aft.  Keem's eyes lit up when he saw her and ran to her.  We talked to Chris for a while and he really let his guard down and relaxed.  She passed him off to me and he really seemed truly relaxed with me for the first time.  I hugged him real tight and blew bubbles on his neck and he laughed hysterically!  It was a great moment.
We were very proud of our other kids.  We had warned them that some of the kids at the home can be very rough and they were not allowed to get angry and fight back.  Jack got punched and bit on the back, Kaylie got pinched and Ryan's hair was pulled very hard.  They all took it very well.
Tomorrow will be a day of very mixed emotions.  Hopefully, if all goes as planned we can pick Keem up and he is going to stay with us, which is awesome but also means we won't be going back to the Red Cross home anymore.  We, and especially Keem, are going to miss all those other kids.

Not quite a fairytale beginning

We've had a busy day, and we are both exhausted.  So this post is not going to be very long.
We landed this morning in Guyana, after catching the 11:00 pm flight out of Toronto last night.  The kids did very well on the plane but basically pulled an all nighter.  They were an extreme mixture of absolute crazy hyper, and nauseating tiredness.  Obedience was the least of their concerns, and several times during the course of the day we wondered if we had made the right decision in taking them here.  But we were all tired, and patience was not one of our strongest virtues either.
After a 45 minute drive, without air conditioning from the airport to our new apartment, we were pleased to see how spacious, roomy and mostly clean.  The fridge smelled like a large fish had swam into it, and died in the heat, but after a good scrubbing from Derek with the lysol wipes, it now only smells like a dead minnow.  The unpacking was going no where, and so we all went to bed.  The kids spent the whole time fighting, and bugging each other and so by 12 we were back unpacking without any sleep.  We didn't have any food in the apartment, so the kids ate a lunch of rainbow candies and cheesies.  After doing a few groceries we headed to the orphanage.
For the last five months we wondered if Keem would recognize us when we got back.  And if he did, how would he react?  He took one look at Derek and ran screaming away from him.  He wouldn't let any of us touch him, and he sat with the caregiver and cried for close to an hour.  We thought maybe we would give him some space and some time to cool down, so we started to walk away from him a bit.  As we did this, he started screaming even more, and louder.  We than realized that he was just confused, very emotional, and he didn't actually want us to go.  Derek suggested that I take Keem regardless of his screaming.  So I took him literally kicking and screaming from the caregiver, and sat in a quiet corner with him.  Within half an hour he was lying his head on my shoulder, sucking his thumb, like we had never left.  We think that he was scared when we came, not sure if we are going to love him for a week and then leave again.  It was sad to see him so distraught.
Our other kids weren't sure what to think.  They instantly loved him, and thought he was adorable, but he didn't pay a lot of attention to them.  He really seemed to like Jack, maybe because of his quiet and gentle manner.  They are very similar that way.  By the end of the day he was sitting on Jack's lap, quite content, and holding hands with him on the swing.  By the time we left he had cozied up to all of the kids and they were thrilled.  He even waved goodbye to Derek, and sat on his lap voluntarily.  A huge step considering it took a full week to get to that point last time.
It's awesome to be back in Guyana.  The heat is unbearable, even for me at times.  There were a few times today where we were very overwhelmed.  Isabel tripped over a suitcase carrying a glass and cut her finger quite badly.  Thankfully the suitcase she tripped over was full of bandaids and polysporin.  When the kids were fighting, we had no food, or dishes, the heat was unbearable we felt moments of where we thought 'this is going to be a very hard five weeks'.  But now, as the kids are sleeping soundly, frogs and reggae and goats are heard in the background, and the smell of the ocean is faintly in the air, we are remembering how amazing this place is, and how happy and thankful to God we are for this opportunity.  After a good night's sleep I'm sure we will all have a new outlook, and tomorrow will be a better day.

Our Bags Are Packed.....

Since our last post, we received news from our agency.  We got approval from the ministry almost right away!!
So we are going to Guyana......on Friday night!!!!!
 Needless to say, this past week has been a whirl wind of activity.  We booked our plane tickets, packed our bags, got more travel shots for the kids, cleaned our house from top to bottom (thanks to my sister Megan and my mom in law!).  I have a bunch more packing to do, and a few things to go through in my paperwork and we are good to go.  Derek has holidays and then his parental leave takes over after that.  So he doesn't have to go back to work until the end July!  It doesn't really feel real yet.
  If you haven't heard, we are having a casual bonfire tomorrow night.  We are asking those who come to bring a small item to donate to the Home where Keem lives.  Please message me if you have any questions or if you need our address.  Looking forward to seeing you there!!

PS  We might not have explained this in our blog, but we've decided to change Akeem's name to Keem.  In Hebrew, the name Keem means "God will establish".

A Pretty Significant Development. Maybe.

Hello friends,

We want to thank all of you who have been praying for us in this adoption journey.  We appreciate your love, support and prayers more than you could know.

For the last few months we have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions.  Never sure what is happening or when, if anything is going to happen or not.  It's tried our patience, tested us in many ways, and also taught us a lot.

Today is not different in that way.

WE HAVE NEWS!!!!!!!

Yesterday Derek and I met with our agency.  Our paperwork has come in!  This is the Child Proposal document (the one we were waiting for).  This is great news, and so, after reviewing the Proposal and signing a bunch of paperwork with our practitioner here, we went to Toronto and signed the official documents for the First Order for Court.  These documents, if all goes well, will go to Guyana today and get brought to a court there.  If that goes well, and gets passed through quickly we will have a court date of JUNE 26 and 27!!!  This also all hinges on one final stamp of approval from the Government of Ontario which we may or may not get this coming week.
Because we are required to be in the country at least 2 weeks ahead of time, we would be flying out next Friday, June 7.

That is 10 days from now!

Of course nothing can be booked yet because nothing is for sure, but this is a very high probability.   
I probably don't have to tell you that we are feeling a bit overwhelmed at this whole prospect.  We weren't expecting a June court date.  I am definitely not complaining because this gives us a month with our son that we were not counting on!  So amazing!  But there are so many things to do in the next 10 days, it's very daunting.
Because the kiddos are coming with us, it is a lot more involved than when just Derek and I went.  But a lot of the paperwork/vaccinations etc have already been taken care of, so it's mostly just packing.

And we still haven't sold our rental house.   But thankfully we have a huge line of credit!

And,  God is faithful!  We are trusting in His plan and if selling our rental is not part of that, than I'm sure He will work it out!

Anyway, we were excited to share our 'maybe' news......we will keep you posted when we have more.

Also, we are planning to host a bonfire on Tuesday June 4th at our home.  Anyone who wants to stop in and say goodbye and have a visit before we leave is welcome!  Please bring a small item to donate to the Red Cross Home where Keem lives.  We'd love to go there with a suitcase full of medication, hygiene items, and baby care products.  Please no toys, diapers, wipes or bulky items, as they take up too much space.  Things like baby tylenol, advil, motrin, diaper rash cream, antibacterial lotion, nutritional supplements, vitamins, etc. are ideal.
If you need directions or an address please message me via facebook and I'll give that info to you.
Hope to see many of you there! 

uncertainty

We’ve been in a bit of a discouraging place the last few weeks, but a lot has been happening in that.  It’s been a series of events that have lead us to this place starting with a phone call I received from our agency last week.

In the phone call we discovered that our lawyer in Guyana may (or may not) be taking a 4 - 6 week vacation in JULY.  Normally this would not be a huge deal for us, but when we were hoping to go to court in July this is not great news.  Now we are faced with the possibility of an August or September court date.  This is also something that is, in and of itself, not that big of a deal.  We had been toying with the idea of taking the whole family down to Guyana for the summer until our court date, and we know the uncertainty of “Guyana time”.  BUT, unfortunately for us, our homestudy/government approval expires the first week of August.  We cannot take the risk of going to Guyana in June, and finding out that we need to come home and update our homestudy because our lawyer is gone on vacation in July.  So now, we need an update....and fast.  I’m back at it, doing police checks, fingerprints, physicals, references etc. etc. etc.  I can’t believe it’s been two years since we started this process.  I feel like I just did all of this paperwork!  Everything takes time.  Police checks and fingerprints are almost a month before they come back.  When you need everything in a hurry the stress starts to weigh heavy on you.  It’s also a time when you again are reminded that nothing is in our control.  I can’t control the mail, the time it takes for a particular agent to process our paperwork, I can’t control the circumstances surrounding this.  It’s humbling and it’s good to remember who is in control of it all.  It’s also much harder to put yourself out there and trust God, when there is so much at stake.  I know he’s in control of this, but I am constantly fighting my natural tendency to try and put things into my own hands.  I am an advocate when it comes to our adoption, don’t get me wrong.  I have been more bold than I have ever been when I am trying to get appointments, get things processed or moving along.  I’ve surprised myself with that, as this is not my character at all.  But, I am reminded every step of the way that this is not in my control.  As soon as we think we have it all figured out, something happens and we are back on our knees again asking for direction.  That is exactly where God wants us to be, I’m sure of it.  It’s just a bit of a roller coaster ride, that’s all.

Another thing that has been weighing on us a bit more than usual is our finances.  I don’t like to bring this up often, but it is a huge part of adoption.  Trusting that God will provide the finances when we need it has been a huge part of this process.  Derek has a great job, and we are very thankful for that.  But as I watch my husband work every day, sometimes for 36 hours straight, never being home and so physically and emotionally exhausted, I get discouraged.  He goes from the fire department right to work at his second job.  As a wife, I wish I could take his place, but realistically I don’t have the skills he has.  When he works so hard and then we have unexpected circumstances (home study updates) that costs money, it can get very discouraging.  We want very much to take our whole family with us when we go, so we don’t have to leave our kids behind for 6-8 weeks.  We want them to be a part of this, and if at all possible have them with us.  But it’s an extra $4000 just to fly them.  I believe that if we are meant to bring them with us, God will provide a way!  We are in the process of trying to sell our rental house and it’s been on the market for 3 weeks without any signs of interest.  Please pray that we will be able to sell our house quickly.  It would be a huge burden lifted!

Yesterday I received a phone call from our agency saying that they are working hard to get us a court date in June.  Now, I say this very cautiously because from our experience, in “Guyana time”, June means July, which in our case (because of the maybe vacation) would mean August.  BUT, if we got a court date in June then we have to have all of our paperwork done by the end of May.  That is 2 weeks (or so) from this date.  We also would need to have our house sold by the end of May, so we can afford to go!  Those are two things that at this moment seem impossible.

I guess the whole last few weeks have just been unsettling.  We don’t know when we are going, if we are going with our whole family or not, we don’t know if we can get our paperwork done on time.....so many unknowns!

Please pray that we won’t get discouraged.
Pray that paperwork will get done smoothly and quicker than expected.
Pray for our practitioner that she might be able to get things done quickly on this end.  Pray for our son in Guyana, that he might have people there loving him, holding him, hugging him.
Pray for Derek that he might have the strength to keep up this pace, and for me that I might be supportive and helpful to him.
Pray for our kids here that they won’t get discouraged by this wait and uncertainty.
Pray that we will cling to God and seek his will in this whole situation.
Pray that we might keep things in perspective.  Thinking especially of Tim Bosma and his family right now.  We feel overwhelmed with our situation but it's small stuff, I can't imagine how the Bosma family is feeling right now.  Please continue to pray for them and Tim's safe return!
We need your prayers, and we appreciate them so much.

Kings and Queens

This is an awesome song by Audio Adrenaline called Kings and Queens.  And for those of you who are from our generation the lead singer is Kevin Max (formerly DC Talk).  A great encouragement for us to be the hands and feet of Jesus!!

Don't Adopt!

I found this blog post from one of my favourite authors on adoption, Russell Moore.  It's what I want to say, but said way better than I could ever articulate!

~Valerie


Taken from Russell Moore's blog "Moore To the Point"(www.russellmoore.com)


Don’t Adopt!

— WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 12TH, 2011 —



If you want your “dream baby,” do not adopt or foster a child: buy a cat and make-believe. Adopting an orphan isn’t ordering a consumer item or buying a pet. Such a mindset hurts the child, and countless other children and families. Adoption is about taking on risk as cross-bearing love.

For years, I’ve called Christian churches and families to our James 1:27 mandate to care for widows and orphans in their distress, to live out the adoption we’ve received in the gospel by adopting and fostering children. At the same time, I’ve maintained that, while every Christian is called to care for orphans and widows, not every Christian is called to adopt or foster. As a matter of fact, there are many who, and I say this emphatically, should not.

Love of any kind brings risk, and, in a fallen world, brings hurt. Simeon tells our Lord’s mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary, that a sword would pierce her heart. That’s true, in some sense, for every mother, every father. Even beyond that, every adoption, every orphan, represents a tragedy. Someone was killed, someone left, someone was impoverished, or someone was diseased. Wrapped up in each situation is some kind of hurt, and all that accompanies that. That’s the reason there really is no adoption that is not a “special needs” adoption; you just might not know on the front end what those special needs are.

We live in a time in which our commitments have become the opportunity often for simply a narcissistic self-realization. Weddings have become events for planners and photographers putting on what seems to be a state dinner honoring the “love of the couple.” Children often become props in a life of parents who are seeking to grasp whatever they believe the world owes them. It’s easier to pull off that kind of an illusion of self-centrality with your engagement photos and wedding party than it is with children, though. Children are alive. Children are persons, with individuality that can’t ultimately be suppressed. Children, of all sorts, are, by definition, unpredictable. Children shatter your life-plan. Adoption certainly does.

It’s worth it.

But Jesus tells us we ought to know that a king going into battle must measure his troops, a tower-builder must count the expenses of the project (Lk. 14:28-31). Those who see adoption as a warm, sentimental way of having a baby are mistaken and dangerous. There are far too many who plunge in without counsel, without a commitment to fidelity no matter what. They search around for a baby who fits their specifications. And babies never fit your specifications…at least not when they grow up.

If what’s behind all of this isn’t crucified, war-fighting, eyes-open commitment, you are going to wind up with a child who is twice orphaned. He or she will be abandoned the first time by fatherlessness and the second time by the rejection of failing to live up to the expectations of parents who had no business imposing such expectations in the first place.

We need a battalion of Christians ready to adopt, foster, and minister to orphans. But that means we need Christians ready to care for real orphans, with all the brokenness and risk that comes with it. We need Christians who can reflect the adopting power of the gospel, which didn’t seek out a boutique nursery but a household of ex-orphans who were found wallowing in our own blood, with Satan’s genes in our bloodstreams.

If what you like is the idea of a baby who fulfills your needs and meets your expectations, just buy a cat. Decorate the nursery, if you’d like. Dress it up in pink or blue, and take pictures. And be sure to have it declawed.

A Picture Post

This  is the Red Cross Convalescent Home in Durban Backlands, Georgetown Guyana.

We spent most of our time in Guyana here.  Akeem has lived here since he was 4 months old.

This picture was taken a few moments after we met him.  Notice how suspicious he is of Derek (who's taking the picture).  It took him 4 days to go from this......

to this.

On our first day with Akeem we took him out of the home to get medicals done.  Afterwards, some of the people who have been helping us, Jermaine and Shaneika, took us to a Chinese restaurant for lunch.  Akeem inhaled the chicken, but wasn't as fond of the rice.  We later found out his diet at the home is often rice twice a day!

His thumb never leaves his mouth!

Derek's Post About The Day We Didn't Post About

Derek writing here.  Sunday was a hard day.  We started off going to John Smiths church on Brickdam.  John Smith was a missionary and abolitionist from England who came to Guyana to minister to the African slaves working on the sugar cane plantations.  After a failed slave rebellion Smith was accused of inciting the rebellion and was thrown in prison.  Under such harsh prison conditions, Smith died shortly there after and became another of Guyana’s martyrs.  The folks there gave us a very warm welcome and everyone wanted to hear our story.  We sang hymns for over and hour, including several written by John Newton (author of the hymn Amazing Grace).  Something awesome about singing songs from a converted slave trader in a former slave colony in a loving church were racial tension no longer existed.   Under normal circumstances it would have been a great morning but my mind was elsewhere.
It was hard to relax at the home that day, always thinking that we would have to leave soon.  Still there was some great moments.  Akeem was quite content to sit with me (the bag of oreo cookies helped) and I was able to make him laugh a bunch of times.  He loved it when I chased him around the home and one time while I was distracted by several of the other kids, he ran down the stairs, snuck outside and made a bee line for the front gate!  He thought it was hilarious that he had tricked us and laughed like a hyena while I dragged him back inside.
Kevon is a handsome seven year old at the home that spent alot of time with me for the last three days.  He is quite sad most of the time as he has had a very traumatic short life.  He also has some manageable health problems and almost no appetite.  (probably part medical and part emotional)  As a result he often feels sick and has very little energy, is very small for his age, and doesn’t speak often.  On occasion he seems to forget his troubles and his real sweet character shines through.  I would love to find this boy a home here in Ontario.  Because of his age and his medical condition, no one has ever even inquired or shown interest in adopting him.  Its a real trajedy. I think he would thrive in a new family and his new family would absolutely love him.
Leaving was excruciating.  We hugged and kissed Akeem (Kevon too) gave him some ice cream and snuck out the door.  My last view of him was seeing him busy eating his dessert and quite enjoying it.  I’m very glad for that.
Back at the hotel, we had quite a flood of emotions.  How are going to handle the next five months? How upset and confused is he going to be on Monday when we don’t show up?  What will become of many of the other kids left behind?  Our routine had always been to eat something, blog about our day and then veg in front of the tv.  (funny thing is that we very rarely watch any television at home, but in Guyana,we were mentally exhausted at the end of the day and we watched something every night)  Sunday night the only thing on was the Grammies, on every channel.  While uber rich celebrities took turns massaging each others over inflated egos, I started to feel sick.  Both the wealthy and the most disadvantaged were wasting there lives away for completely different reasons.  What a contrast.  Looking back, a lot of my life has been similar to the Hollywood  types, just to a different degree.  I had spent years obsessing over my house, my next camping trip, making money, etc. with little regard for what was happening in the rest of the world.  I had my opinion about it, but it was all talk and no action.  This whole process has changed me.  This change is just one of the welcomed side effects to adding a new little boy, who we already love so much, to our family.