Day Two - Flipp'n Awesome

Well today went a lot smoother!  The kids had slept for at least twelve hours and Val and I were refreshed as well.  The day started off cool (30 degrees instead of 35) and rainy.  We had met a whole bunch of people who came to the orphanage yesterday who were singing awesome praise songs and playing with the kids.  Some of them friended Val on Facebook and invited us to their church.  What an experience!  Loud praise music and dancing for well over an hour, communion with very passionate believers and a great message for men to be leaders with a Godly spirit, all lead by a pastor with exceptional charisma!  The kids were having fun for the first half hour, but soon started to ask "Is it almost over?"  After two and a half hours, yes you read that right, 2.5 hours the kids were getting very eager to leave to say the least.  It was great though and the minister had a good message about fear that Ryan could relate to.  Half way through the service the pastor asked us to stand, so everyone could pray for us, which was very touching.  He then asked if we were related to Bernie Slingerland from Arizona!  No matter where you are in the world you can't avoid playing Dutch Bingo!  A great young man named Seon walked with us to the orphanage.
Poor Keem was not happy to see me.  I walked into the common room where the kids play and sleep to go get him.  Val and the rest of our kids stayed out in the hallway, so as to not get all the others riled up.  Keem took off running as soon as he saw me and I didn't know what to do, chase after him, pick him up and put up with his screaming till he got over his fear or just leave him till he was ready.  All kinds of other kids were reaching up to me, and Kevon, a boy who I have a real soft spot for and who recognized me instantly from our last trip clung to my legs and sobbed.  When Val heard all the commotion, she came to the room.  Keem ran from her crying, obviously scared and confused but then clung to her neck tightly when she finally caught him.  After that he was fine.  They left the room to play with our other kids out in the hall.  The rest of the kids had gotten themselves worked up into indescribable anarchy!  I thought I had better stay in there with the one caregiver and try to help restore some order, despite being the one who had caused all the trouble.  I sat down on the bed while five little kids fought each other for a spot on my lap.  Some hits were exchanged, there was some biting going on and one little sweetie peed all over my lap.  I had to laugh, otherwise you could cry about how starving for attention and love these kids are.
Keem was great today.  It didn't take long for him to warm up to Val and he even sat with me for a while this aft. He started to take some real interest in his new brothers and sisters, who also loved playing with him today. They all took turns holding his hand and walking around with him. The real breakthrough for me came when Chris, a lovely woman who volunteers at the home and has given Keem a lot of extra love and attention, came this aft.  Keem's eyes lit up when he saw her and ran to her.  We talked to Chris for a while and he really let his guard down and relaxed.  She passed him off to me and he really seemed truly relaxed with me for the first time.  I hugged him real tight and blew bubbles on his neck and he laughed hysterically!  It was a great moment.
We were very proud of our other kids.  We had warned them that some of the kids at the home can be very rough and they were not allowed to get angry and fight back.  Jack got punched and bit on the back, Kaylie got pinched and Ryan's hair was pulled very hard.  They all took it very well.
Tomorrow will be a day of very mixed emotions.  Hopefully, if all goes as planned we can pick Keem up and he is going to stay with us, which is awesome but also means we won't be going back to the Red Cross home anymore.  We, and especially Keem, are going to miss all those other kids.

Not quite a fairytale beginning

We've had a busy day, and we are both exhausted.  So this post is not going to be very long.
We landed this morning in Guyana, after catching the 11:00 pm flight out of Toronto last night.  The kids did very well on the plane but basically pulled an all nighter.  They were an extreme mixture of absolute crazy hyper, and nauseating tiredness.  Obedience was the least of their concerns, and several times during the course of the day we wondered if we had made the right decision in taking them here.  But we were all tired, and patience was not one of our strongest virtues either.
After a 45 minute drive, without air conditioning from the airport to our new apartment, we were pleased to see how spacious, roomy and mostly clean.  The fridge smelled like a large fish had swam into it, and died in the heat, but after a good scrubbing from Derek with the lysol wipes, it now only smells like a dead minnow.  The unpacking was going no where, and so we all went to bed.  The kids spent the whole time fighting, and bugging each other and so by 12 we were back unpacking without any sleep.  We didn't have any food in the apartment, so the kids ate a lunch of rainbow candies and cheesies.  After doing a few groceries we headed to the orphanage.
For the last five months we wondered if Keem would recognize us when we got back.  And if he did, how would he react?  He took one look at Derek and ran screaming away from him.  He wouldn't let any of us touch him, and he sat with the caregiver and cried for close to an hour.  We thought maybe we would give him some space and some time to cool down, so we started to walk away from him a bit.  As we did this, he started screaming even more, and louder.  We than realized that he was just confused, very emotional, and he didn't actually want us to go.  Derek suggested that I take Keem regardless of his screaming.  So I took him literally kicking and screaming from the caregiver, and sat in a quiet corner with him.  Within half an hour he was lying his head on my shoulder, sucking his thumb, like we had never left.  We think that he was scared when we came, not sure if we are going to love him for a week and then leave again.  It was sad to see him so distraught.
Our other kids weren't sure what to think.  They instantly loved him, and thought he was adorable, but he didn't pay a lot of attention to them.  He really seemed to like Jack, maybe because of his quiet and gentle manner.  They are very similar that way.  By the end of the day he was sitting on Jack's lap, quite content, and holding hands with him on the swing.  By the time we left he had cozied up to all of the kids and they were thrilled.  He even waved goodbye to Derek, and sat on his lap voluntarily.  A huge step considering it took a full week to get to that point last time.
It's awesome to be back in Guyana.  The heat is unbearable, even for me at times.  There were a few times today where we were very overwhelmed.  Isabel tripped over a suitcase carrying a glass and cut her finger quite badly.  Thankfully the suitcase she tripped over was full of bandaids and polysporin.  When the kids were fighting, we had no food, or dishes, the heat was unbearable we felt moments of where we thought 'this is going to be a very hard five weeks'.  But now, as the kids are sleeping soundly, frogs and reggae and goats are heard in the background, and the smell of the ocean is faintly in the air, we are remembering how amazing this place is, and how happy and thankful to God we are for this opportunity.  After a good night's sleep I'm sure we will all have a new outlook, and tomorrow will be a better day.

Our Bags Are Packed.....

Since our last post, we received news from our agency.  We got approval from the ministry almost right away!!
So we are going to Guyana......on Friday night!!!!!
 Needless to say, this past week has been a whirl wind of activity.  We booked our plane tickets, packed our bags, got more travel shots for the kids, cleaned our house from top to bottom (thanks to my sister Megan and my mom in law!).  I have a bunch more packing to do, and a few things to go through in my paperwork and we are good to go.  Derek has holidays and then his parental leave takes over after that.  So he doesn't have to go back to work until the end July!  It doesn't really feel real yet.
  If you haven't heard, we are having a casual bonfire tomorrow night.  We are asking those who come to bring a small item to donate to the Home where Keem lives.  Please message me if you have any questions or if you need our address.  Looking forward to seeing you there!!

PS  We might not have explained this in our blog, but we've decided to change Akeem's name to Keem.  In Hebrew, the name Keem means "God will establish".

A Pretty Significant Development. Maybe.

Hello friends,

We want to thank all of you who have been praying for us in this adoption journey.  We appreciate your love, support and prayers more than you could know.

For the last few months we have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions.  Never sure what is happening or when, if anything is going to happen or not.  It's tried our patience, tested us in many ways, and also taught us a lot.

Today is not different in that way.

WE HAVE NEWS!!!!!!!

Yesterday Derek and I met with our agency.  Our paperwork has come in!  This is the Child Proposal document (the one we were waiting for).  This is great news, and so, after reviewing the Proposal and signing a bunch of paperwork with our practitioner here, we went to Toronto and signed the official documents for the First Order for Court.  These documents, if all goes well, will go to Guyana today and get brought to a court there.  If that goes well, and gets passed through quickly we will have a court date of JUNE 26 and 27!!!  This also all hinges on one final stamp of approval from the Government of Ontario which we may or may not get this coming week.
Because we are required to be in the country at least 2 weeks ahead of time, we would be flying out next Friday, June 7.

That is 10 days from now!

Of course nothing can be booked yet because nothing is for sure, but this is a very high probability.   
I probably don't have to tell you that we are feeling a bit overwhelmed at this whole prospect.  We weren't expecting a June court date.  I am definitely not complaining because this gives us a month with our son that we were not counting on!  So amazing!  But there are so many things to do in the next 10 days, it's very daunting.
Because the kiddos are coming with us, it is a lot more involved than when just Derek and I went.  But a lot of the paperwork/vaccinations etc have already been taken care of, so it's mostly just packing.

And we still haven't sold our rental house.   But thankfully we have a huge line of credit!

And,  God is faithful!  We are trusting in His plan and if selling our rental is not part of that, than I'm sure He will work it out!

Anyway, we were excited to share our 'maybe' news......we will keep you posted when we have more.

Also, we are planning to host a bonfire on Tuesday June 4th at our home.  Anyone who wants to stop in and say goodbye and have a visit before we leave is welcome!  Please bring a small item to donate to the Red Cross Home where Keem lives.  We'd love to go there with a suitcase full of medication, hygiene items, and baby care products.  Please no toys, diapers, wipes or bulky items, as they take up too much space.  Things like baby tylenol, advil, motrin, diaper rash cream, antibacterial lotion, nutritional supplements, vitamins, etc. are ideal.
If you need directions or an address please message me via facebook and I'll give that info to you.
Hope to see many of you there! 

uncertainty

We’ve been in a bit of a discouraging place the last few weeks, but a lot has been happening in that.  It’s been a series of events that have lead us to this place starting with a phone call I received from our agency last week.

In the phone call we discovered that our lawyer in Guyana may (or may not) be taking a 4 - 6 week vacation in JULY.  Normally this would not be a huge deal for us, but when we were hoping to go to court in July this is not great news.  Now we are faced with the possibility of an August or September court date.  This is also something that is, in and of itself, not that big of a deal.  We had been toying with the idea of taking the whole family down to Guyana for the summer until our court date, and we know the uncertainty of “Guyana time”.  BUT, unfortunately for us, our homestudy/government approval expires the first week of August.  We cannot take the risk of going to Guyana in June, and finding out that we need to come home and update our homestudy because our lawyer is gone on vacation in July.  So now, we need an update....and fast.  I’m back at it, doing police checks, fingerprints, physicals, references etc. etc. etc.  I can’t believe it’s been two years since we started this process.  I feel like I just did all of this paperwork!  Everything takes time.  Police checks and fingerprints are almost a month before they come back.  When you need everything in a hurry the stress starts to weigh heavy on you.  It’s also a time when you again are reminded that nothing is in our control.  I can’t control the mail, the time it takes for a particular agent to process our paperwork, I can’t control the circumstances surrounding this.  It’s humbling and it’s good to remember who is in control of it all.  It’s also much harder to put yourself out there and trust God, when there is so much at stake.  I know he’s in control of this, but I am constantly fighting my natural tendency to try and put things into my own hands.  I am an advocate when it comes to our adoption, don’t get me wrong.  I have been more bold than I have ever been when I am trying to get appointments, get things processed or moving along.  I’ve surprised myself with that, as this is not my character at all.  But, I am reminded every step of the way that this is not in my control.  As soon as we think we have it all figured out, something happens and we are back on our knees again asking for direction.  That is exactly where God wants us to be, I’m sure of it.  It’s just a bit of a roller coaster ride, that’s all.

Another thing that has been weighing on us a bit more than usual is our finances.  I don’t like to bring this up often, but it is a huge part of adoption.  Trusting that God will provide the finances when we need it has been a huge part of this process.  Derek has a great job, and we are very thankful for that.  But as I watch my husband work every day, sometimes for 36 hours straight, never being home and so physically and emotionally exhausted, I get discouraged.  He goes from the fire department right to work at his second job.  As a wife, I wish I could take his place, but realistically I don’t have the skills he has.  When he works so hard and then we have unexpected circumstances (home study updates) that costs money, it can get very discouraging.  We want very much to take our whole family with us when we go, so we don’t have to leave our kids behind for 6-8 weeks.  We want them to be a part of this, and if at all possible have them with us.  But it’s an extra $4000 just to fly them.  I believe that if we are meant to bring them with us, God will provide a way!  We are in the process of trying to sell our rental house and it’s been on the market for 3 weeks without any signs of interest.  Please pray that we will be able to sell our house quickly.  It would be a huge burden lifted!

Yesterday I received a phone call from our agency saying that they are working hard to get us a court date in June.  Now, I say this very cautiously because from our experience, in “Guyana time”, June means July, which in our case (because of the maybe vacation) would mean August.  BUT, if we got a court date in June then we have to have all of our paperwork done by the end of May.  That is 2 weeks (or so) from this date.  We also would need to have our house sold by the end of May, so we can afford to go!  Those are two things that at this moment seem impossible.

I guess the whole last few weeks have just been unsettling.  We don’t know when we are going, if we are going with our whole family or not, we don’t know if we can get our paperwork done on time.....so many unknowns!

Please pray that we won’t get discouraged.
Pray that paperwork will get done smoothly and quicker than expected.
Pray for our practitioner that she might be able to get things done quickly on this end.  Pray for our son in Guyana, that he might have people there loving him, holding him, hugging him.
Pray for Derek that he might have the strength to keep up this pace, and for me that I might be supportive and helpful to him.
Pray for our kids here that they won’t get discouraged by this wait and uncertainty.
Pray that we will cling to God and seek his will in this whole situation.
Pray that we might keep things in perspective.  Thinking especially of Tim Bosma and his family right now.  We feel overwhelmed with our situation but it's small stuff, I can't imagine how the Bosma family is feeling right now.  Please continue to pray for them and Tim's safe return!
We need your prayers, and we appreciate them so much.

Kings and Queens

This is an awesome song by Audio Adrenaline called Kings and Queens.  And for those of you who are from our generation the lead singer is Kevin Max (formerly DC Talk).  A great encouragement for us to be the hands and feet of Jesus!!

Don't Adopt!

I found this blog post from one of my favourite authors on adoption, Russell Moore.  It's what I want to say, but said way better than I could ever articulate!

~Valerie


Taken from Russell Moore's blog "Moore To the Point"(www.russellmoore.com)


Don’t Adopt!

— WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 12TH, 2011 —



If you want your “dream baby,” do not adopt or foster a child: buy a cat and make-believe. Adopting an orphan isn’t ordering a consumer item or buying a pet. Such a mindset hurts the child, and countless other children and families. Adoption is about taking on risk as cross-bearing love.

For years, I’ve called Christian churches and families to our James 1:27 mandate to care for widows and orphans in their distress, to live out the adoption we’ve received in the gospel by adopting and fostering children. At the same time, I’ve maintained that, while every Christian is called to care for orphans and widows, not every Christian is called to adopt or foster. As a matter of fact, there are many who, and I say this emphatically, should not.

Love of any kind brings risk, and, in a fallen world, brings hurt. Simeon tells our Lord’s mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary, that a sword would pierce her heart. That’s true, in some sense, for every mother, every father. Even beyond that, every adoption, every orphan, represents a tragedy. Someone was killed, someone left, someone was impoverished, or someone was diseased. Wrapped up in each situation is some kind of hurt, and all that accompanies that. That’s the reason there really is no adoption that is not a “special needs” adoption; you just might not know on the front end what those special needs are.

We live in a time in which our commitments have become the opportunity often for simply a narcissistic self-realization. Weddings have become events for planners and photographers putting on what seems to be a state dinner honoring the “love of the couple.” Children often become props in a life of parents who are seeking to grasp whatever they believe the world owes them. It’s easier to pull off that kind of an illusion of self-centrality with your engagement photos and wedding party than it is with children, though. Children are alive. Children are persons, with individuality that can’t ultimately be suppressed. Children, of all sorts, are, by definition, unpredictable. Children shatter your life-plan. Adoption certainly does.

It’s worth it.

But Jesus tells us we ought to know that a king going into battle must measure his troops, a tower-builder must count the expenses of the project (Lk. 14:28-31). Those who see adoption as a warm, sentimental way of having a baby are mistaken and dangerous. There are far too many who plunge in without counsel, without a commitment to fidelity no matter what. They search around for a baby who fits their specifications. And babies never fit your specifications…at least not when they grow up.

If what’s behind all of this isn’t crucified, war-fighting, eyes-open commitment, you are going to wind up with a child who is twice orphaned. He or she will be abandoned the first time by fatherlessness and the second time by the rejection of failing to live up to the expectations of parents who had no business imposing such expectations in the first place.

We need a battalion of Christians ready to adopt, foster, and minister to orphans. But that means we need Christians ready to care for real orphans, with all the brokenness and risk that comes with it. We need Christians who can reflect the adopting power of the gospel, which didn’t seek out a boutique nursery but a household of ex-orphans who were found wallowing in our own blood, with Satan’s genes in our bloodstreams.

If what you like is the idea of a baby who fulfills your needs and meets your expectations, just buy a cat. Decorate the nursery, if you’d like. Dress it up in pink or blue, and take pictures. And be sure to have it declawed.

A Picture Post

This  is the Red Cross Convalescent Home in Durban Backlands, Georgetown Guyana.

We spent most of our time in Guyana here.  Akeem has lived here since he was 4 months old.

This picture was taken a few moments after we met him.  Notice how suspicious he is of Derek (who's taking the picture).  It took him 4 days to go from this......

to this.

On our first day with Akeem we took him out of the home to get medicals done.  Afterwards, some of the people who have been helping us, Jermaine and Shaneika, took us to a Chinese restaurant for lunch.  Akeem inhaled the chicken, but wasn't as fond of the rice.  We later found out his diet at the home is often rice twice a day!

His thumb never leaves his mouth!

Derek's Post About The Day We Didn't Post About

Derek writing here.  Sunday was a hard day.  We started off going to John Smiths church on Brickdam.  John Smith was a missionary and abolitionist from England who came to Guyana to minister to the African slaves working on the sugar cane plantations.  After a failed slave rebellion Smith was accused of inciting the rebellion and was thrown in prison.  Under such harsh prison conditions, Smith died shortly there after and became another of Guyana’s martyrs.  The folks there gave us a very warm welcome and everyone wanted to hear our story.  We sang hymns for over and hour, including several written by John Newton (author of the hymn Amazing Grace).  Something awesome about singing songs from a converted slave trader in a former slave colony in a loving church were racial tension no longer existed.   Under normal circumstances it would have been a great morning but my mind was elsewhere.
It was hard to relax at the home that day, always thinking that we would have to leave soon.  Still there was some great moments.  Akeem was quite content to sit with me (the bag of oreo cookies helped) and I was able to make him laugh a bunch of times.  He loved it when I chased him around the home and one time while I was distracted by several of the other kids, he ran down the stairs, snuck outside and made a bee line for the front gate!  He thought it was hilarious that he had tricked us and laughed like a hyena while I dragged him back inside.
Kevon is a handsome seven year old at the home that spent alot of time with me for the last three days.  He is quite sad most of the time as he has had a very traumatic short life.  He also has some manageable health problems and almost no appetite.  (probably part medical and part emotional)  As a result he often feels sick and has very little energy, is very small for his age, and doesn’t speak often.  On occasion he seems to forget his troubles and his real sweet character shines through.  I would love to find this boy a home here in Ontario.  Because of his age and his medical condition, no one has ever even inquired or shown interest in adopting him.  Its a real trajedy. I think he would thrive in a new family and his new family would absolutely love him.
Leaving was excruciating.  We hugged and kissed Akeem (Kevon too) gave him some ice cream and snuck out the door.  My last view of him was seeing him busy eating his dessert and quite enjoying it.  I’m very glad for that.
Back at the hotel, we had quite a flood of emotions.  How are going to handle the next five months? How upset and confused is he going to be on Monday when we don’t show up?  What will become of many of the other kids left behind?  Our routine had always been to eat something, blog about our day and then veg in front of the tv.  (funny thing is that we very rarely watch any television at home, but in Guyana,we were mentally exhausted at the end of the day and we watched something every night)  Sunday night the only thing on was the Grammies, on every channel.  While uber rich celebrities took turns massaging each others over inflated egos, I started to feel sick.  Both the wealthy and the most disadvantaged were wasting there lives away for completely different reasons.  What a contrast.  Looking back, a lot of my life has been similar to the Hollywood  types, just to a different degree.  I had spent years obsessing over my house, my next camping trip, making money, etc. with little regard for what was happening in the rest of the world.  I had my opinion about it, but it was all talk and no action.  This whole process has changed me.  This change is just one of the welcomed side effects to adding a new little boy, who we already love so much, to our family.

A Post About the Day I Didn't Post About

I didn’t write a post on Sunday.  I was afraid that if I did, it would be too emotional and I wanted to think clearly while I was writing.
Sunday was an excruciatingly hard day for both of us.  We had gone to a local church in the morning, but both of us were antsy to get to the orphanage to see Akeem.  I was already in a pretty emotional state knowing how the day was going to end, and so I think everything seemed much harder to deal with.  Akeem was happy to see Derek and for the first time ever he went to him first!!  I was so glad because it was so exciting to see him open up to Derek.  I was also glad that he opened up to him before we left, it was encouraging for both of us.  He sat with Derek eating a cookie for well over an hour I think.  It was a gift :)  Akeem was actually very annoyed with me on Sunday.  I think he could tell I was trying to hold onto every last minute with him and it made him avoid me like crazy.  I was sad about it, but on the other hand I had 6 other days with him that he hung onto me all day so I was thankful for that!
Every minute that passed was one minute closer to leaving....saying goodbye to him. I couldn’t get that out of my mind all day.  I also kept thinking about all these kids that we were leaving.  What was going to happen to all the other children?  We can’t adopt all of them, but they all need so much love, and so much more then what they are getting.  I wish that we could do so much more for them.  I guess that I had expected to feel like this, I just didn’t think I would feel so personally involved in these children’s lives.  It’s heartbreaking to know that there are so many little ones out there who need homes, loving families, stability, people to care for them.
We put off leaving until we absolutely had to go.  After supper the kids were all eating ice cream and we both kissed Akeem and hugged him and snuck off.  We figured it would be easier that way for everyone.  It was so incredibly hard to leave him there.  We were both in tears as we drove to our hotel, the poor taxi driver probably didn’t know what to do!  When we got to our hotel room we cried, prayed and just felt such sadness.  For leaving him, for the other kids in the orphanage that we weren’t adopting but wished we could take home with us too, for the whole week.  It was as if all the emotions of the whole crazy week came crashing down on us.  We tried to watch some TV but it felt like everything in the world was so shallow and meaningless compared to what we had been dealing with.
Monday came and went, airplanes, airports....not my favorite places!  We were very thankful to be back on Canadian soil, although I definitely prefer the Guyana weather!  Thanks to Derek’s mom and sisters (and sister in laws), we came home to a clean house, kids in bed and fire going. THANK YOU!!!  It was a relief to come home to that, and it was so appreciated.   Thank you to those of you who watched our kids while we were gone! It was a blessing to be able to have a week like this and not worry one minute about our children at home.  We are very glad to have you all in our life :)
We are so thankful for God’s goodness in our life. God has been SO good to us, so much more than we deserve.  We are so thankful for this little boy he has brought into our life!!
So now, we wait again.  I talked to the agency today and they are predicting 5 or 6 months, which is longer than we had hoped.  But we are continuing to trust in God’s plan in this, since he has the bigger picture!!  Praying for a shorter wait, and if not, patience in the waiting again!

Providence

We had a relaxing day with Akeem today.  He was pretty tired so he slept on me all morning.  We had the privelage of meeting a woman this morning who was volunteering at the home when Akeem was 4 months old.  Over time she noticed he was very shy and quiet and she spent a lot of time with him, bonding and showing him love.  This was great news for us to hear!! And also a huge comfort to find out she still volunteers there every week and will be there after we leave on Monday.  He's quite attached to her and it makes us feel a lot more at ease about leaving him.  She also says she has many baby pictures of him which is a treasure for us!  It was an answer to prayer to meet her today.
Another amazing thing Derek thought of yesterday was this:  it was on our trip to myrtle beach in the second week of October 2010 that Derek and I started praying about the possibility of adopting.  We both read Russel Moore's book "adopted for life" and at the end of the week we were both certain adoption was to be in our future.  We booked our pride course and called a practitioner when we got home.  That same week in October, we started thinking that there could be a child out there already born, or in the womb, that was meant for us.  We prayed specifically for birth moms and their babies in the womb.  Also in that same week in October,   Akeem was born!!  October 11, our third day in myrtle beach.  It's unbelievable to see Gods hand in our lives even when we weren't aware of it!!  

No snow in Guyana

We spent another day at the orphanage today.  Derek and I both noticed a huge difference in the kids today.  The first couple days we were an odd site to them, they loved climbing on us, looking for things in our pockets and backpacks and playing with our phones.  We were a novelty.  Today it felt like the novelty had worn off and the kids were all of the sudden starving for our attention.  The other children were jealous of our attention to Akeem and he would get very jealous if we paid any attention to them.  They would fight to sit on our laps to the point of hurting each other to get there.  Randy threw a huge hour long temper tantrum that ended in vomiting because he so badly wanted Derek's attention.  Kevin kept pulling Derek's hair hard and hitting the others who were on his lap.  Akeem bit me, hard! I think he was angry that so many others wanted my attention.  It was a tiring day of crying and we were both exhausted by the end of the day.  On the plus side, Akeem sat with Derek on his own accord and ate some Oreos for about half an hour.  Progress!!! :). 

After we got back from lunch at the Guinness bar we have been walking to every day, it was much more quiet at the home.  The girls there kept the others away from us so we could have some quiet time with Akeem.  Today was sweltering hot and Akeem was not very active.....but neither were we.  We were happy to sit in the hallway in whatever breeze we could find and just enjoy our son to be.  

We are loving it here in georgetown.  It is a crazy city.  Derek and I walk to the stabroek market every day after we visit Akeem and buy fruit.  I still can't get over the market.  It's unlike anything we've ever experienced.  Packed full of people, taxis, minibuses, dogs and garbage, there are people selling underwear, sunglasses, pirated DVDs, mangos, pineapple, chicken feet, fried plantains, chopping up fish.  It smells like sweat, diesel fumes, sewage, and curry mixed in with fresh ocean air, and fruit.  Everyone asks if we are Canadians, and my softie husband gives money to everyone who asks for it (which is almost everyone who talks to us).  Another thing we've noticed about this city is the music.  Everywhere you go there is music BLARING.  Usually it's crazy loud rap and once in a while they will throw in an old Celine dion song or a Bryan Adams song.  We hear loud music as we lie in bed at midnight, cars drive by at all hours blaring it.  We also hear wild barking dogs all night long.  Yesterday there were 8 wild dogs on the street in front of our hotel.  No one owns them they are just street dogs.  Our room has an air conditioner but it is by no means airtight.  There are several places that are open to the outdoors from our room so it is not sound proof.  As we sit here and write this there is a man living in a house beside the hotel, who is welding in his dining room.  We know this because half the roof is missing on his house and we can see right inside his house.  This is his second night of welding.  I lost count of my mosquito bites at 63.  I wish I had remembered my bug spray.....next time I will remember!  Tomorrow night we will talk about the driving....a whole post right there!!  We love G town....a crazy wild place unlike anywhere we've ever been.  We heard everyone has a big snow storm in Ontario......that means its a good week to be here :). 

Interview success!

Our interview with the adoption board was this morning.  It went very well!  They are thrilled that we want to adopt Akeem,  and after our interview we are confident she will recommend us to the courts. So all the official stuff we had to do this week is done.  We spent some time after our interview with the woman interviewing us, and we were excited to find out that some of the kids in the orphanage are already beig adopted and going to Canada shortly.  Also they are starting up a foster care system here in Guyana which is much better for nurturing children.  Now all we do is wait.......our lawyer here will make a formal application to the courts and when we get back to Canada he will inform us of a date.  We are so thankful to God for his goodness in bringing us this far!!  And so thankful the official part of this trip is done and what needed to get done was finished.  Such a relief!!
The rest of the day we spent at the home with Akeem.  He was much more relaxed around us today.  Smiling and laughing and playing....a side we had not seen much of yet.  We were so happy to see him relax and it was exciting to see his personality start to come through.  He started playin with the other kids and was running around after Derek even.  It was really exciting!  We are worried that he will have a very hard time on Monday when we don't show up, because he is getting attached to us it might be hard.  Pray that he might be able to adjust to that easily and that he won't be too upset after we leave!  We've had a really exhausting day and the heat took a lot out of Derek (I quite like it :). So we are going to keep it short.  More tomorrow.......!

Another Awesome Day

We arrived at the home this morning to find a dozen three, four and five year olds running down the hallway yelling "Akeems Mudder" and pointing at Val! It was pretty awesome.  Akeem is coming out of his shell more and more everyday.  He had a big hug and kiss for Val as soon as he saw her.  Although he doesn't appreciate a hug from me yet, he gives me high fives and will smile at me.  He also enjoys playing hide and seek and loves when I chase him.  I'm ok with this because it was a little expected.  I am thrilled at how much he is attaching to Val.  We just hope that when we leave, it won't be disappointing for him and hurt him more than if we had never come.  Not to brag, but all the other kids love me there.  They are crazy about my iphone and love being able to see themselves being videoed.  A lot of the older kids are very wild and hyper, and the workers have a hard time controlling them when we are there.  There are several kids there with severe mental and physical disabilities, and others with medical issues.  It's heart breaking but they are being well taken care of. 
Meal times there are a riot.  After meal time it looks like an explosion of fruit and noodles.  I have the pleasure of cleaning that up, while Val gets to cuddle with Akeem.  I had two beautiful kids, Terri Anne and Devon, sweep up the whole room with me today.  (The broom is made from a big wad of grass held together with wires).  I noticed today live wires from a broken outlet, hanging out from the wall right in front of the dining room where the kids walk by everyday.  I put my bag down there and the woman beside me said, "Watch out those are live current"!  Tomorrow I'm going to ask Jermaine where I can buy some electrical tape.  I took some pictures to show our home study practitioner in Ontario.  It was a short visit today because we had an appointment at the lawyers at 2:30.  It was hard saying good bye because for the first time he was upset that we were leaving.  We don't even want to begin to think about what it is going to be like having to say good bye to him on Sunday.
On a very exciting note.....We got an interview!!!  This is what we were praying for and hoping would take place before we left!  We would have had to make an extra trip if we had not received this interview in time. We meet with the adoption board tomorrow at 10 am (9 am back home) and once approved our papers are allowed into the court system in Guyana.  This is our last scheduled meeting here in Guyana, but it's also the most important one this trip.
We are overwhelmed at the amount of people who are supporting us through this!  Following our story, reading our blog, commenting, praying for us!!  We feel so blessed by all of our friends, family, and everyone else who has been following our story.  Thank you!!
We also hope this blog is able to bring to attention, and put a personal face on the needs of the very vulnerable people in this world.  

A Day at the Orphanage

Today we had nothing planned except to spend as much time as we were able to with Akeem at the home.
We got there at around 11, a few hours early for visiting hours, but no one seemed to mind.  The workers there are very relaxed with us and seemed thrilled that we are visiting Akeem.  They actually refer to us as 'Akeems mother and father', and when we come, they say to him "Akeem your mother and father are here!"  It's awesome.  And probably very strange for him to wake up one day and all of the sudden you have a mother and father in your life, and they look nothing like you, and you have never seen them before.  Akeem seems kind of confused about the whole thing, understandably.  For the most part, he's very comfortable with me.  He will sit in my lap sucking his thumb and leaning his head on me.  As soon as he starts having fun though (like if we are playing with his stuffed dog, or anything that makes him laugh), all of the sudden he shuts down.  I think he is afraid of getting attached to us or something because it happens everytime he starts having fun with us.  Then he starts hitting or pinching me, or slams a door, or just runs away.  He has very little interest in Derek right now.  I think he is pretty suspicious of him, although there has been a few moments where he's let down his guard and Derek was able to make him laugh.  It's a bit sad, but it's something we had expected.  I felt we made a bit of progress with him today and it was very sad to leave him.  He's pretty shy normally, so with us, he is extremely shy.  The woman at the home said that is very normal with most kids his age in the home.  They start out really shy and over time realize they need to be assertive.  The stronger your character there, the more attention you get. 
The home is fairly nice by Guyanese standards.   The place is in desperate need of new furniture.  Everything is old and falling apart, and it doesn't smell great.  They are putting a nice new kitchen in this week.  I saw a mouse run across the hall while I was there, but it's wide open to the outdoors so it's fairly normal here I think.    The staff is wonderful, very kind and loving toward the kids. They sing a lot with the kids and pray before every meal and snack!  The kids are very well fed, and we were shocked to see how much some of them ate!  They structure their day, but are also relaxed too. All the kids here are beautiful.  I wish I could take home more than one!  They are all in such need of hugs and attention, they couldn't get enough of us.  Derek sat on the bed and he just about got mauled by 8 kids!  They took his camera case, punched the camera and pinched his cheeks.  It was very funny.  I picked up a little girl for a while, and when I put her down she yelled at me and punched me because she was so mad I put her down!  The kids are just desperate for attention.  We took some great pictures of them all today that we will post when we get home.  (I can't upload photos on the blog here, just on facebook). 
All in all it was a good day.  Also very emotional.  We feel drained.  Getting to know these kids by name, Destiny, Little Mikey, Kevin, Abraham, Devon, Devine, Tyra..... and knowing where they are, is very difficult.  We've personalized it, and now it matters to us a lot more.
Today was Ryan's birthday.  We were sad to miss it, but he's having a great time with his cousin Blake at Nana's house, and Raleigh and Cari are going there for supper, which he is thrilled about. It's hard being so far from them that even phone calls are broken up and unclear.  So thankful for the internet!  The connection isn't 100% reliable, but we have been very fortunate to be able to post so much!!  It makes the world a lot smaller :)

Akeem

We began our day with a trip to the Guyana Child Protection Services (which is basically the same as FACS in Canada).  It is the place that decides whether or not we are allowed to go ahead with the adoption application.  Not quite court, but just as important.  We are incredibly thankful for our liaison, Shaneika, who is walking us through this crazy process.  She, and her driver Jermaine, always seem to know who to talk to, what to say and where to go.  We would be lost without them.  The woman at the CPS was quite incredulous at why we would want to adopt a child, from Guyana, when we have 4 already.  "Isn't that big enough family?!"  Explaining the size of my family back home, five didn't seem that large to her anymore and that seemed to alleviate her concerns.  Then it was off to the Red Cross Convalescent Home to meet Akeem. 
It felt almost surreal walking into the place.  Like we were in a dream or something.  We looked over a gated door into a room full of about 10 little boys, between 1 and 3 years old.  We didn't recognize him at first, until they pulled him out of the little crowd and lead him to us.  He was beautiful.  He just looked at us, sucking his thumb and staring at us with his big brown eyes.  I picked him up and he clung to me.  Both arms around my neck tightly and his little face right up next to my cheek.  It was quite the moment!  Derek went to rub his back and he slapped his hand away and clung tighter.  He isn't used to men at all and for the first few hours he stared suspiciously at him.  He wouldn't take anything from Derek, it had to be passed to me first.  We got in the taxi, and with Akeem in my lap we drove to the hospital to get our medicals done.  The medicals were more of a formality than anything, and we passed with flying colors.  We had to get some lab work done for Akeem and once we got the results the doc signed our medicals as PASSED.  During this time Akeem fell asleep in my arms and I had a chance to pass him to Derek.  When he awoke in Derek's arms he was still a bit suspicious but in a short time he was quite comfy sitting with Derek.
After the medicals we went out for lunch with Shaneika and Jermaine.  Akeem wasn't a big fan of the rice, but he ate more chicken than Derek did!  I had to give him small amounts at a time because he filled his mouth like a little chipmunk so he wouldn't miss out on any food. 
We brought him back and the car ride was a lot of fun.  Akeem had discovered the power window, something he had never seen before.  He started laughing and giggling everytime it went up and down.  It was the first time we had seen him smile.  He has a beautiful smile and a contagious laugh.  It was very hard to bring him back to the orphanage and leave him there so soon after meeting him.  He clung onto his stuffed puppy our kids had picked out for him.  Luckily it was time for ice cream at the orphanage and so our leaving wasn't really a big deal for him.
It was a day of very mixed emotions.  Joy at meeting the child who will hopefully be our son.  Sorrow at knowing where he has been all this time, hearing the story of his life and the difficulties he has had to face.  It was sad seeing all of the other kids at the home, knowing the uphill battles they face in life. 
When you go through a process like this, there are always things that don't go according to plan.  Our day went very smoothly, but there will be some major hurdles up ahead.  We originally had been told that there would be a 2-3 month wait between this trip and our next trip/court date.  Today we were told it would be more like 5-6 months.  This was a huge disappointment for us.  It could be faster, but it's not likely.  We were also told at the beginning of the process that the second trip would have to be 3 weeks.  Today we were told that they expect us to be here for 5 weeks.  It could be 4, but not likely.  This is also incredibly disappointing, and is causing us a great deal of anxiety.  We will get through it, God has lead us this far!  But the thought of leaving my other children for 5 weeks, is terrifying.
Akeem is an awesome little boy.  He has a big belly and chubby arms.  He has huge hands and feet.  His eyes are black as coal and the white of his eyes are pure white.  We both felt a bond with him by the time our day with him was over.  Tomorrow we plan to go back and visit him again.
It's easy to let anxiety take over when our emotions are all over the place, the road ahead seems very daunting, and there is so much at stake.  We are so thankful that God has a plan for us, and that we can trust in that.  When we look at how our story has unraveled so far, in all it's details and complexities, it's impossible not to see God's hand in it.  So we will just keep looking to Him!

The Craziest Weekend Ever

How do we even begin to tell you how this weekend has transpired.  It began as what was supposed to be a relaxing weekend at the Americana Hotel in Niagara Falls, swimming with our kids and spending time with my brother and sister's families.  We pulled into the parking lot, just ready to check in and our adoption agency called our cell.  "We found a boy" was the first words I heard, and my heart just about stopped beating.  We spent the next 20 minutes in the van with the kids looking very puzzled as they wondered why mom was crying on the phone. The kids were ecstatic when we shared the news. 
For the next day, while Derek played in the water park with the kids, I was on the phone at the hotel frantically booking flights, trying to get malaria prescriptions, arranging time off work for Derek, arranging childcare, talking to our agency about details and confirming those details with the woman we were to meet in Guyana. 
At the end of the day we had it all planned.  We had to be at the airport at 7 pm the next day.
After finishing up our day at the water park on Saturday, we raced home and packed, and left with Derek's Aunt Ineke for Pearson Airport.
It was all going smoothly
 Someone asked  me once "how on earth does a person loose their wallet in an airport??"
Somehow Derek managed to do this.
While Derek raced around the terminal, getting all of the people from Carribean airlines, and all Pearson Security involved in the search, I sat in the terminal praying!
It was 20 minutes before the plane was going to take off, we were still looking and praying.   All hope was almost lost when I got a call on my cell.  "hello this is pearson international airport.  We are looking for Derek Slingerland.  We have his wallet!"  It was found by an employee at the bottom of an escaltor, and returned with everything in it.
We boarded the plane with 10 minutes to spare.  Incredibly thankful!
The plane was pure torture for Derek.  We didn't get to sit together and the pressure was killing his head.  But at 7:20 this morning we finally arrived at Cheddi Jaggen International Airport in Georgetown Guyana.  Our driver, Jermaine was waiting patiently for us and proceeded to take us to our hotel.  The 40 minute drive was completed in 20 minutes!  Everytime I thought we were about to get in a head on collision I realized we were supposed to be driving on the left side.  There are people, dogs, kids and cows all over the roads here. 
The hotel is pretty nice.  Its clean (and that's a big deal for me), breakfast was good (that's a big deal for Derek), and it's safe....there is razor wire on everything here.  We slept for four hours and went to go exploring since we couldn't go visit the orphanage on Sunday.
Georgetown is a city of crazy contrasts.  Lush, green, beautiful trees full of flowers, are growing in ditches full of garbage.  One minute you smell amazing Caribbean food, fresh salty air and the aroma of the flowers, the next minute you get a waft of diesel fumes and open sewers.  The people here are incredibly friendly.  Everyone honks at us as we walk down the street, and teenagers were eager to get their pictures taken with us.  So far we are the only Caucasian people we have seen here.
We went to the Stabroek Market and bought lots of fresh fruit, walked to St. George's Cathedral and walked to the Seawall by the ocean.  The beach is filled with silt and the water looks like chocolate.  On the beach there is garbage, jellyfish, and dead fish everywhere. There is also trampolines with kids, bbqed chicken and cows grazing.  We have never seen such a crazy place.  Everyone hangs out there, and on a relaxing Sunday afternoon it is the place to be.  We literally saw only one public garbage can in the 30 blocks we walked today.  The amount of garbage on the ground, everywhere, is staggering.
Houses range from being clean brightly colored houses, to shacks with wood roofs that would barely keep out water....right beside each other.  There are taxis everywhere, and everyone asks if you need a ride.  There are many homeless people on the streets begging but their are also many children who are well dressed.  The kids are beautiful here, and a lot of care goes into their appearance.  Everyone has their hair done up, clean clothes and nice shoes (or sometimes no shoes).  It is such a city of contrasts.
We are now off to bed.  Tomorrow is the day we meet our son to be!!!  So excited and so thankful to God for His plan :)

Praise God!!!!

We have news!!!!!!  We are so excited to announce that we have just got a referral for a little two and a half year old boy from Guyana!!!!!!!!!!  We don't have a lot of info but we just wanted to share the exciting news with you all :). We are praising God and are so thankful to Him for his goodness!!!!
We will update soon this is just a quick note to let you know that this is happening!!  Pray that things will continue to go smoothly and for our little boy that is miles away!

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!  

A New Year

A new year has begun and we wanted to update you all on what has been happening (and not happening!) with our adoption.

Since the fall we had been toying with the idea of going to Guyana this winter.  Unlike many countries who allow adoptions, Guyana was one of the only ones that allowed adoptive parents to go to the country to look for a child on their own.  We had been hesitant about this at first because it seemed a bit too much like shopping for a child.  Choosing a child out of many seemed impossible.  How do you choose a child?   How do you go into a situation like that and know which child is "the one"?  What if our selfish needs and wants influence our decision, causing us to overlook the child God has in mind for us, for the child that looks more like our ideal?  It seemed like an overwhelming and ridiculous concept, so, we decided to leave it in the hands of God and our agency instead. But as time went by we came to a point where we thought that maybe we should reconsider our initial decision and think about it again.  Maybe going to Guyana would help.  Maybe we could meet and establish needed contacts to get our names known and "out there", so that when a child is identified our names will be familiar.  Maybe there are orphanages that have not been reached that we could go to.  We realized this was not a decision we should take lightly so we began to pray that God would show us a clear path to take.  Should we go or stay?
Yesterday I got a call from our agency.  There has been a change of policy and no adoptive couple may go to the country to look anymore.  They said they will call us when a child has been identified for us, and until than we need to sit tight.  Although I have to admit it wasn't exactly what I was hoping to hear, Derek and I were pretty relieved.  We had no idea how we were going to "find" a child there, and we probably would have wasted our time and money wondering around in circles looking.  And we asked for direction, and this was a very clear answer to our question!  That was exactly what we were looking for!  During my phone chat, I also had the chance also to talk to our agent about some of our concerns and questions so it was a really good thing to have been able to talk to her.

And it's hard to believe, but it has been 2 years since we started this blog, our home study, and officially began the adoption process.  We didn't really think at the time that we would be waiting for 2 years although many people wait that long or longer for their adoptions to go through.  I guess I had this idea at first that ours would be the exceptionally fast adoption....the one that everyone hopes for, but hardly anyone has.  But,  here we are, and although it has not been the fast process we were hoping for, we have changed and grown a lot in the last 2 years.  We truly believe that God has been using this waiting time to change us into the people He wants us to be, preparing us for the child He has in mind for us.
We began this process optimistic, energetic, motivated, positive, and excited for the future.  We also began this process with ideals, preconceived notions, selfish ambitions and desires that were tainting our view of this adoption.  God has used the last 2 years to change us, change our hearts and prepare us for a different child than we went in looking for.  I don't even know what that looks like, but He has given us an open-ness that we did not have when we started.  This may mean we end up adopting a child with a life time disease, or special need.  We are not really sure where God is taking us with this but we know that His plan is better than ours.

Please pray for us, that we might have wisdom in this.  Please pray that we would have patience still in our waiting and that we will continue to trust in God's plan, not our own.
Please pray for our kids, we see them getting very discouraged in waiting.  One of my kids prayed out loud last week and ended his prayer with a huge sigh and said "I don't know if I should say this but could ya please hurry this baby up?  We are getting sick and tired of waiting for him!!"  They don't understand the process, and looking back we sometimes wonder if we should have waited longer to tell them about the adoption.  That being said, they have been praying faithfully for this baby for 2 years.  What an amazing feeling they will have when that prayer is finally answered!  Through this,  I have seen them slowly learn how to be more dependant on God and learn how to wait patiently for Him, so I am not entirely certain if we did the wrong thing by telling them early.

Waiting and Surrender

So we are waiting......still.

Everything happens in God's time.

It sounds very cliche but it is crucial.  Truthfully, If we had gotten our phone call when we were hoping to get it, we would not have been ready.  We thought we were but God has the bigger picture and He knew we needed time.  I thank Him every day for His perfect timing.  That is what keeps us focused.  We have the best laid out plans for ourselves but God knows better and His purposes are better then we could imagine.  If His plan is not adopting a baby from Guyana, what He does have planned is much better for us then that. Maybe His plan is just to keep us waiting for a while longer, and that is okay too.  We have not given up at all, just changed our perspective.  The last few months have really taught us to depend on God for everything and it is very freeing in many ways.  The stress of worrying about what might happen and when is gone and it's just about Him and His plan.  It's a good place to be, but also a difficult road to get to that place.

Surrender is not easy.

Surrender is what He wants from us!

I appreciate all of you who are supporting us in your own way, thank you.