Wednesday, February 13, 2013

A Post About the Day I Didn't Post About

I didn’t write a post on Sunday.  I was afraid that if I did, it would be too emotional and I wanted to think clearly while I was writing.
Sunday was an excruciatingly hard day for both of us.  We had gone to a local church in the morning, but both of us were antsy to get to the orphanage to see Akeem.  I was already in a pretty emotional state knowing how the day was going to end, and so I think everything seemed much harder to deal with.  Akeem was happy to see Derek and for the first time ever he went to him first!!  I was so glad because it was so exciting to see him open up to Derek.  I was also glad that he opened up to him before we left, it was encouraging for both of us.  He sat with Derek eating a cookie for well over an hour I think.  It was a gift :)  Akeem was actually very annoyed with me on Sunday.  I think he could tell I was trying to hold onto every last minute with him and it made him avoid me like crazy.  I was sad about it, but on the other hand I had 6 other days with him that he hung onto me all day so I was thankful for that!
Every minute that passed was one minute closer to leaving....saying goodbye to him. I couldn’t get that out of my mind all day.  I also kept thinking about all these kids that we were leaving.  What was going to happen to all the other children?  We can’t adopt all of them, but they all need so much love, and so much more then what they are getting.  I wish that we could do so much more for them.  I guess that I had expected to feel like this, I just didn’t think I would feel so personally involved in these children’s lives.  It’s heartbreaking to know that there are so many little ones out there who need homes, loving families, stability, people to care for them.
We put off leaving until we absolutely had to go.  After supper the kids were all eating ice cream and we both kissed Akeem and hugged him and snuck off.  We figured it would be easier that way for everyone.  It was so incredibly hard to leave him there.  We were both in tears as we drove to our hotel, the poor taxi driver probably didn’t know what to do!  When we got to our hotel room we cried, prayed and just felt such sadness.  For leaving him, for the other kids in the orphanage that we weren’t adopting but wished we could take home with us too, for the whole week.  It was as if all the emotions of the whole crazy week came crashing down on us.  We tried to watch some TV but it felt like everything in the world was so shallow and meaningless compared to what we had been dealing with.
Monday came and went, airplanes, airports....not my favorite places!  We were very thankful to be back on Canadian soil, although I definitely prefer the Guyana weather!  Thanks to Derek’s mom and sisters (and sister in laws), we came home to a clean house, kids in bed and fire going. THANK YOU!!!  It was a relief to come home to that, and it was so appreciated.   Thank you to those of you who watched our kids while we were gone! It was a blessing to be able to have a week like this and not worry one minute about our children at home.  We are very glad to have you all in our life :)
We are so thankful for God’s goodness in our life. God has been SO good to us, so much more than we deserve.  We are so thankful for this little boy he has brought into our life!!
So now, we wait again.  I talked to the agency today and they are predicting 5 or 6 months, which is longer than we had hoped.  But we are continuing to trust in God’s plan in this, since he has the bigger picture!!  Praying for a shorter wait, and if not, patience in the waiting again!


Wilma Pennings said...

I'm in tears thinking about your last day. If adoption were made easier, more couples would adopt these needy children. Not many can go through what you and Derek have. I pray for a short wait to get Akeem, and that the government there will make it easier for families to adopt their little ones.

h l post said...

:I hear you " as much as we do not know of your experience but think we can imagine just might be enough--to go through the roller coaster and not know what will happen. I do pray that you keep in mind what God has planned for you and your family in all of this. As hard as it may be from time to time-try to stay focused. Sounds like you are on the right path. We will think of you and your family as you journey through this season in your life. Love from Henry and Laura and family

Anonymous said...

I know the waiting is very difficult, especially now that you have met him, and fell in love with him. When we were still fostering our little guy, we loved him like our own, wanted to keep him, felt God leading us in that direction, yet it was such a long, difficult waiting road. The Lord is good, our little guy is finally ours, and I pray that Akeem will truly be yours soon too. thanks for the posts, but since i don't have face book, I'm still waiting for some pictures. lol

HeatherVMS said...

Praying for you in this journey! It's so cliche to say, but "God is always on time with His schedule!"