Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Why International?

Several people have asked us why we have chosen to adopt internationally, when there are so many children in the foster care system here in Canada. That is a fair and valid question. Val and I believe every child deserves to have a mother and father that will love them unconditionally and forever, and our prayers are with those parents who decide to adopt domestically. There are basically three ways you can adopt a child if you live in Ontario. First, through Family and Children Services, (FACS). Secondly, through a liscenced private domestic agency, and third, international. The first option, through FACS, was appealing because it is free. The problem we had was the wait time was extremely long. Just to get a homestudy done was a year and a half wait, and then several months to complete it and get approved. Adopted children, when they are young, some times have problems attaching to their new families, and feeling like they belong. We felt a large age gap in-between our youngest child and our new child would only complicate things, since our first four kids were all born within four years. Also, FACS often operates as a foster to adopt program, wherein a child would be placed in your home as a foster child while the adoption was finalized. If the adoption falls through, (a birth parent has a change of heart), and the child is returned, my family would be devastated. The risk of putting that stress on my children is one I can not take. The second option, private domestic also came with a considerably long wait time. The cost was very similar to some of the international agencies. There is a huge push amongst private agencies nowadays to have open adoptions, where birth parents still have contact with your child. This could be as little contact as writing letters back and forth or as much as seeing each other on the weekends. While experts claim these arrangements are the best for the child, I could not handle such an arrangement, for several reasons.(selfishness being one of them). These are some of the reasons why domestic adoption, which is a beautiful thing and God bless those that choose that route, just wasn't suitable for us.


Carole said...

Thanks for posting, Derek. I like it that you 2 are blogging together. Can't wait to follow your exciting journey...we have a picture of 3 beautiful Guyanese orphans on our prayer board to help us remember. :)
Thanks for having us over yesterday!!

Anonymous said...

Hi, last November we began our adoption journey with the local CAS. Tomorrow our son is being officially placed on adoption with us!! It dosn't have to take years!
All the best!