Friday, December 09, 2011

Not yet....

I'm sorry for the lack of posts recently. My heart has just not been in the blogging mood. Part of me wants to spend every waking minute talking about our adoption, reading about other people's experiences, thinking about our precious baby that is so far from us. The other part of me wants to pretend that I'm not waiting for a phone call. I have to be honest, the waiting part of adoption has been the biggest struggle for me so far. Up until this point I've had some element of control over things. I've been so organized, paperwork was done as quickly as I could manage, meetings were scheduled, we were getting things done. Now we are doing nothing. There is no paperwork, phone calls or meetings that will speed this process up...it is completely out of my control. At times that is so frustrating and depressing for me. It could be tomorrow , or next week but realistically it could also be months of waiting. But other times the idea that I'm not in control is very comforting. It's not in my power, but it is in God's hands. And what more could I possibly want then to have the all knowing, all powerful Father in control? I know this, but I have found this to be a huge struggle and also a push for me to be more trusting and dependent on God. I didn't realize until now how important it is to me to be in control of my circumstances, and I am really learning to give that up and let God take over.

6 comments:

scottyk said...

We are praying! I think this is one of the biggest lessons God teaches in adoption circumstances. How to wait, and pray, and trust. He is good and has a perfect plan for you! We are learning to wait too, and I understand the battle! Someday it will all be done! :-)

- Jen K :-)

Anita said...

One of the things I've been thankful to learn (but haven't learned all the way yet!) in our adoption processes is that God never, ever makes a mistake. If God has a baby for you (and we trust He does)there is no way you won't be united, the uniting won't be too late, and while you are apart, nothing will happen to you or the baby that is not planned by God for you to experience. It is very hard to live remembering this each day, but when my sinful heart grabs on to the real truth of God's sovereignty, it is such a sweet, sweet comfort! Praying for you all this morning!

Mark and Beth said...

I hope you hear some news soon! But God knows what is best for you and your baby. The time WILL come!

♥Bethany

Theresa said...

Praying for you and Derek! We know the pain of the 'not yet' that God calls us to. Knowing that it IS good is our comfort. Reminds me of the song of the new Robin Mark cd - the lyrics go something like "The only thing that we can be sure of is where our journey ends" God knows the future and it IS good. Praying you will be able to rest in that!

Anonymous said...

Hi, it was good talking to you yesterday. May God bless you while you wait on Him!!

Anonymous said...

Hi we too are "waiting" to adopt. It certainly is a lesson in patience and trusting in God. Any news lately? April 24, 2012