Wednesday, November 02, 2011

A Response to Comments on Birth Parents

A couple of months ago a reader of our blog posted the following comments.
“Praying for your little one as well as the child's mother/father/grandparents, etc. Your gain is someone else's forever loss. Adoption is the only trauma, where we expect the victim to be thankful. As much as I think what you are doing is noble, please never forget that there is another very very sad side to all of this. Your happiest day...someone else's saddest day.”  The comments were posted by an anonymous reader. I apologize for not responding sooner and hope the reader is still following our story.  Val and I would like to thank them for keeping our child and birth family in their prayers, and for their insight.  The reader is absolutely correct.  Being orphaned is a trauma greater than most of us will experience, for everyone involved.  Birth parents and their families suffer a great loss when either a child is removed from them, or given up, because they cannot provide care.  The child is still loved and the sorrow and guilt felt would be very hard to live with.  I don’t want to sound sanctimonious when I say this, I just want to reassure our reader that Val and I have been praying for the birth family since we started this process.  We can’t imagine being in a situation of not having the health, a home, or even enough food required to raise your child and being forced to give up your child.  Monday, November 14 is International Orphan Day. Please keep all the world’s orphans, as well as their families, in your prayers.

Posted by Derek

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hello again, sorry about keeping this anonymous. That was my comment left a few months ago. I work with broken situations on a daily basis, and for confidentiality reasons need to keep my identity unknown. (we do not know each other if that helps) I did not intend any disrespect with my comment.
I was very glad to read that this is an angle that you are keeping in mind, as in my experience it is not one that is very popular in the adoption circles. Much more emphasis is placed on the positives of adoption as opposed to the realities down the road for your future child. Perhaps it would be helpful to search for some 'first mom' blogs, as I have gained much insight into hearing about the 'other side' of the story. God bless you in all you do. One day, this broken world will become a New Earth, and there will be no more grief or sorrow. What a day that will be.