A Picture Post

This  is the Red Cross Convalescent Home in Durban Backlands, Georgetown Guyana.

We spent most of our time in Guyana here.  Akeem has lived here since he was 4 months old.

This picture was taken a few moments after we met him.  Notice how suspicious he is of Derek (who's taking the picture).  It took him 4 days to go from this......

to this.

On our first day with Akeem we took him out of the home to get medicals done.  Afterwards, some of the people who have been helping us, Jermaine and Shaneika, took us to a Chinese restaurant for lunch.  Akeem inhaled the chicken, but wasn't as fond of the rice.  We later found out his diet at the home is often rice twice a day!

His thumb never leaves his mouth!

Derek's Post About The Day We Didn't Post About

Derek writing here.  Sunday was a hard day.  We started off going to John Smiths church on Brickdam.  John Smith was a missionary and abolitionist from England who came to Guyana to minister to the African slaves working on the sugar cane plantations.  After a failed slave rebellion Smith was accused of inciting the rebellion and was thrown in prison.  Under such harsh prison conditions, Smith died shortly there after and became another of Guyana’s martyrs.  The folks there gave us a very warm welcome and everyone wanted to hear our story.  We sang hymns for over and hour, including several written by John Newton (author of the hymn Amazing Grace).  Something awesome about singing songs from a converted slave trader in a former slave colony in a loving church were racial tension no longer existed.   Under normal circumstances it would have been a great morning but my mind was elsewhere.
It was hard to relax at the home that day, always thinking that we would have to leave soon.  Still there was some great moments.  Akeem was quite content to sit with me (the bag of oreo cookies helped) and I was able to make him laugh a bunch of times.  He loved it when I chased him around the home and one time while I was distracted by several of the other kids, he ran down the stairs, snuck outside and made a bee line for the front gate!  He thought it was hilarious that he had tricked us and laughed like a hyena while I dragged him back inside.
Kevon is a handsome seven year old at the home that spent alot of time with me for the last three days.  He is quite sad most of the time as he has had a very traumatic short life.  He also has some manageable health problems and almost no appetite.  (probably part medical and part emotional)  As a result he often feels sick and has very little energy, is very small for his age, and doesn’t speak often.  On occasion he seems to forget his troubles and his real sweet character shines through.  I would love to find this boy a home here in Ontario.  Because of his age and his medical condition, no one has ever even inquired or shown interest in adopting him.  Its a real trajedy. I think he would thrive in a new family and his new family would absolutely love him.
Leaving was excruciating.  We hugged and kissed Akeem (Kevon too) gave him some ice cream and snuck out the door.  My last view of him was seeing him busy eating his dessert and quite enjoying it.  I’m very glad for that.
Back at the hotel, we had quite a flood of emotions.  How are going to handle the next five months? How upset and confused is he going to be on Monday when we don’t show up?  What will become of many of the other kids left behind?  Our routine had always been to eat something, blog about our day and then veg in front of the tv.  (funny thing is that we very rarely watch any television at home, but in Guyana,we were mentally exhausted at the end of the day and we watched something every night)  Sunday night the only thing on was the Grammies, on every channel.  While uber rich celebrities took turns massaging each others over inflated egos, I started to feel sick.  Both the wealthy and the most disadvantaged were wasting there lives away for completely different reasons.  What a contrast.  Looking back, a lot of my life has been similar to the Hollywood  types, just to a different degree.  I had spent years obsessing over my house, my next camping trip, making money, etc. with little regard for what was happening in the rest of the world.  I had my opinion about it, but it was all talk and no action.  This whole process has changed me.  This change is just one of the welcomed side effects to adding a new little boy, who we already love so much, to our family.

A Post About the Day I Didn't Post About

I didn’t write a post on Sunday.  I was afraid that if I did, it would be too emotional and I wanted to think clearly while I was writing.
Sunday was an excruciatingly hard day for both of us.  We had gone to a local church in the morning, but both of us were antsy to get to the orphanage to see Akeem.  I was already in a pretty emotional state knowing how the day was going to end, and so I think everything seemed much harder to deal with.  Akeem was happy to see Derek and for the first time ever he went to him first!!  I was so glad because it was so exciting to see him open up to Derek.  I was also glad that he opened up to him before we left, it was encouraging for both of us.  He sat with Derek eating a cookie for well over an hour I think.  It was a gift :)  Akeem was actually very annoyed with me on Sunday.  I think he could tell I was trying to hold onto every last minute with him and it made him avoid me like crazy.  I was sad about it, but on the other hand I had 6 other days with him that he hung onto me all day so I was thankful for that!
Every minute that passed was one minute closer to leaving....saying goodbye to him. I couldn’t get that out of my mind all day.  I also kept thinking about all these kids that we were leaving.  What was going to happen to all the other children?  We can’t adopt all of them, but they all need so much love, and so much more then what they are getting.  I wish that we could do so much more for them.  I guess that I had expected to feel like this, I just didn’t think I would feel so personally involved in these children’s lives.  It’s heartbreaking to know that there are so many little ones out there who need homes, loving families, stability, people to care for them.
We put off leaving until we absolutely had to go.  After supper the kids were all eating ice cream and we both kissed Akeem and hugged him and snuck off.  We figured it would be easier that way for everyone.  It was so incredibly hard to leave him there.  We were both in tears as we drove to our hotel, the poor taxi driver probably didn’t know what to do!  When we got to our hotel room we cried, prayed and just felt such sadness.  For leaving him, for the other kids in the orphanage that we weren’t adopting but wished we could take home with us too, for the whole week.  It was as if all the emotions of the whole crazy week came crashing down on us.  We tried to watch some TV but it felt like everything in the world was so shallow and meaningless compared to what we had been dealing with.
Monday came and went, airplanes, airports....not my favorite places!  We were very thankful to be back on Canadian soil, although I definitely prefer the Guyana weather!  Thanks to Derek’s mom and sisters (and sister in laws), we came home to a clean house, kids in bed and fire going. THANK YOU!!!  It was a relief to come home to that, and it was so appreciated.   Thank you to those of you who watched our kids while we were gone! It was a blessing to be able to have a week like this and not worry one minute about our children at home.  We are very glad to have you all in our life :)
We are so thankful for God’s goodness in our life. God has been SO good to us, so much more than we deserve.  We are so thankful for this little boy he has brought into our life!!
So now, we wait again.  I talked to the agency today and they are predicting 5 or 6 months, which is longer than we had hoped.  But we are continuing to trust in God’s plan in this, since he has the bigger picture!!  Praying for a shorter wait, and if not, patience in the waiting again!

Providence

We had a relaxing day with Akeem today.  He was pretty tired so he slept on me all morning.  We had the privelage of meeting a woman this morning who was volunteering at the home when Akeem was 4 months old.  Over time she noticed he was very shy and quiet and she spent a lot of time with him, bonding and showing him love.  This was great news for us to hear!! And also a huge comfort to find out she still volunteers there every week and will be there after we leave on Monday.  He's quite attached to her and it makes us feel a lot more at ease about leaving him.  She also says she has many baby pictures of him which is a treasure for us!  It was an answer to prayer to meet her today.
Another amazing thing Derek thought of yesterday was this:  it was on our trip to myrtle beach in the second week of October 2010 that Derek and I started praying about the possibility of adopting.  We both read Russel Moore's book "adopted for life" and at the end of the week we were both certain adoption was to be in our future.  We booked our pride course and called a practitioner when we got home.  That same week in October, we started thinking that there could be a child out there already born, or in the womb, that was meant for us.  We prayed specifically for birth moms and their babies in the womb.  Also in that same week in October,   Akeem was born!!  October 11, our third day in myrtle beach.  It's unbelievable to see Gods hand in our lives even when we weren't aware of it!!  

No snow in Guyana

We spent another day at the orphanage today.  Derek and I both noticed a huge difference in the kids today.  The first couple days we were an odd site to them, they loved climbing on us, looking for things in our pockets and backpacks and playing with our phones.  We were a novelty.  Today it felt like the novelty had worn off and the kids were all of the sudden starving for our attention.  The other children were jealous of our attention to Akeem and he would get very jealous if we paid any attention to them.  They would fight to sit on our laps to the point of hurting each other to get there.  Randy threw a huge hour long temper tantrum that ended in vomiting because he so badly wanted Derek's attention.  Kevin kept pulling Derek's hair hard and hitting the others who were on his lap.  Akeem bit me, hard! I think he was angry that so many others wanted my attention.  It was a tiring day of crying and we were both exhausted by the end of the day.  On the plus side, Akeem sat with Derek on his own accord and ate some Oreos for about half an hour.  Progress!!! :). 

After we got back from lunch at the Guinness bar we have been walking to every day, it was much more quiet at the home.  The girls there kept the others away from us so we could have some quiet time with Akeem.  Today was sweltering hot and Akeem was not very active.....but neither were we.  We were happy to sit in the hallway in whatever breeze we could find and just enjoy our son to be.  

We are loving it here in georgetown.  It is a crazy city.  Derek and I walk to the stabroek market every day after we visit Akeem and buy fruit.  I still can't get over the market.  It's unlike anything we've ever experienced.  Packed full of people, taxis, minibuses, dogs and garbage, there are people selling underwear, sunglasses, pirated DVDs, mangos, pineapple, chicken feet, fried plantains, chopping up fish.  It smells like sweat, diesel fumes, sewage, and curry mixed in with fresh ocean air, and fruit.  Everyone asks if we are Canadians, and my softie husband gives money to everyone who asks for it (which is almost everyone who talks to us).  Another thing we've noticed about this city is the music.  Everywhere you go there is music BLARING.  Usually it's crazy loud rap and once in a while they will throw in an old Celine dion song or a Bryan Adams song.  We hear loud music as we lie in bed at midnight, cars drive by at all hours blaring it.  We also hear wild barking dogs all night long.  Yesterday there were 8 wild dogs on the street in front of our hotel.  No one owns them they are just street dogs.  Our room has an air conditioner but it is by no means airtight.  There are several places that are open to the outdoors from our room so it is not sound proof.  As we sit here and write this there is a man living in a house beside the hotel, who is welding in his dining room.  We know this because half the roof is missing on his house and we can see right inside his house.  This is his second night of welding.  I lost count of my mosquito bites at 63.  I wish I had remembered my bug spray.....next time I will remember!  Tomorrow night we will talk about the driving....a whole post right there!!  We love G town....a crazy wild place unlike anywhere we've ever been.  We heard everyone has a big snow storm in Ontario......that means its a good week to be here :). 

Interview success!

Our interview with the adoption board was this morning.  It went very well!  They are thrilled that we want to adopt Akeem,  and after our interview we are confident she will recommend us to the courts. So all the official stuff we had to do this week is done.  We spent some time after our interview with the woman interviewing us, and we were excited to find out that some of the kids in the orphanage are already beig adopted and going to Canada shortly.  Also they are starting up a foster care system here in Guyana which is much better for nurturing children.  Now all we do is wait.......our lawyer here will make a formal application to the courts and when we get back to Canada he will inform us of a date.  We are so thankful to God for his goodness in bringing us this far!!  And so thankful the official part of this trip is done and what needed to get done was finished.  Such a relief!!
The rest of the day we spent at the home with Akeem.  He was much more relaxed around us today.  Smiling and laughing and playing....a side we had not seen much of yet.  We were so happy to see him relax and it was exciting to see his personality start to come through.  He started playin with the other kids and was running around after Derek even.  It was really exciting!  We are worried that he will have a very hard time on Monday when we don't show up, because he is getting attached to us it might be hard.  Pray that he might be able to adjust to that easily and that he won't be too upset after we leave!  We've had a really exhausting day and the heat took a lot out of Derek (I quite like it :). So we are going to keep it short.  More tomorrow.......!

Another Awesome Day

We arrived at the home this morning to find a dozen three, four and five year olds running down the hallway yelling "Akeems Mudder" and pointing at Val! It was pretty awesome.  Akeem is coming out of his shell more and more everyday.  He had a big hug and kiss for Val as soon as he saw her.  Although he doesn't appreciate a hug from me yet, he gives me high fives and will smile at me.  He also enjoys playing hide and seek and loves when I chase him.  I'm ok with this because it was a little expected.  I am thrilled at how much he is attaching to Val.  We just hope that when we leave, it won't be disappointing for him and hurt him more than if we had never come.  Not to brag, but all the other kids love me there.  They are crazy about my iphone and love being able to see themselves being videoed.  A lot of the older kids are very wild and hyper, and the workers have a hard time controlling them when we are there.  There are several kids there with severe mental and physical disabilities, and others with medical issues.  It's heart breaking but they are being well taken care of. 
Meal times there are a riot.  After meal time it looks like an explosion of fruit and noodles.  I have the pleasure of cleaning that up, while Val gets to cuddle with Akeem.  I had two beautiful kids, Terri Anne and Devon, sweep up the whole room with me today.  (The broom is made from a big wad of grass held together with wires).  I noticed today live wires from a broken outlet, hanging out from the wall right in front of the dining room where the kids walk by everyday.  I put my bag down there and the woman beside me said, "Watch out those are live current"!  Tomorrow I'm going to ask Jermaine where I can buy some electrical tape.  I took some pictures to show our home study practitioner in Ontario.  It was a short visit today because we had an appointment at the lawyers at 2:30.  It was hard saying good bye because for the first time he was upset that we were leaving.  We don't even want to begin to think about what it is going to be like having to say good bye to him on Sunday.
On a very exciting note.....We got an interview!!!  This is what we were praying for and hoping would take place before we left!  We would have had to make an extra trip if we had not received this interview in time. We meet with the adoption board tomorrow at 10 am (9 am back home) and once approved our papers are allowed into the court system in Guyana.  This is our last scheduled meeting here in Guyana, but it's also the most important one this trip.
We are overwhelmed at the amount of people who are supporting us through this!  Following our story, reading our blog, commenting, praying for us!!  We feel so blessed by all of our friends, family, and everyone else who has been following our story.  Thank you!!
We also hope this blog is able to bring to attention, and put a personal face on the needs of the very vulnerable people in this world.  

A Day at the Orphanage

Today we had nothing planned except to spend as much time as we were able to with Akeem at the home.
We got there at around 11, a few hours early for visiting hours, but no one seemed to mind.  The workers there are very relaxed with us and seemed thrilled that we are visiting Akeem.  They actually refer to us as 'Akeems mother and father', and when we come, they say to him "Akeem your mother and father are here!"  It's awesome.  And probably very strange for him to wake up one day and all of the sudden you have a mother and father in your life, and they look nothing like you, and you have never seen them before.  Akeem seems kind of confused about the whole thing, understandably.  For the most part, he's very comfortable with me.  He will sit in my lap sucking his thumb and leaning his head on me.  As soon as he starts having fun though (like if we are playing with his stuffed dog, or anything that makes him laugh), all of the sudden he shuts down.  I think he is afraid of getting attached to us or something because it happens everytime he starts having fun with us.  Then he starts hitting or pinching me, or slams a door, or just runs away.  He has very little interest in Derek right now.  I think he is pretty suspicious of him, although there has been a few moments where he's let down his guard and Derek was able to make him laugh.  It's a bit sad, but it's something we had expected.  I felt we made a bit of progress with him today and it was very sad to leave him.  He's pretty shy normally, so with us, he is extremely shy.  The woman at the home said that is very normal with most kids his age in the home.  They start out really shy and over time realize they need to be assertive.  The stronger your character there, the more attention you get. 
The home is fairly nice by Guyanese standards.   The place is in desperate need of new furniture.  Everything is old and falling apart, and it doesn't smell great.  They are putting a nice new kitchen in this week.  I saw a mouse run across the hall while I was there, but it's wide open to the outdoors so it's fairly normal here I think.    The staff is wonderful, very kind and loving toward the kids. They sing a lot with the kids and pray before every meal and snack!  The kids are very well fed, and we were shocked to see how much some of them ate!  They structure their day, but are also relaxed too. All the kids here are beautiful.  I wish I could take home more than one!  They are all in such need of hugs and attention, they couldn't get enough of us.  Derek sat on the bed and he just about got mauled by 8 kids!  They took his camera case, punched the camera and pinched his cheeks.  It was very funny.  I picked up a little girl for a while, and when I put her down she yelled at me and punched me because she was so mad I put her down!  The kids are just desperate for attention.  We took some great pictures of them all today that we will post when we get home.  (I can't upload photos on the blog here, just on facebook). 
All in all it was a good day.  Also very emotional.  We feel drained.  Getting to know these kids by name, Destiny, Little Mikey, Kevin, Abraham, Devon, Devine, Tyra..... and knowing where they are, is very difficult.  We've personalized it, and now it matters to us a lot more.
Today was Ryan's birthday.  We were sad to miss it, but he's having a great time with his cousin Blake at Nana's house, and Raleigh and Cari are going there for supper, which he is thrilled about. It's hard being so far from them that even phone calls are broken up and unclear.  So thankful for the internet!  The connection isn't 100% reliable, but we have been very fortunate to be able to post so much!!  It makes the world a lot smaller :)

Akeem

We began our day with a trip to the Guyana Child Protection Services (which is basically the same as FACS in Canada).  It is the place that decides whether or not we are allowed to go ahead with the adoption application.  Not quite court, but just as important.  We are incredibly thankful for our liaison, Shaneika, who is walking us through this crazy process.  She, and her driver Jermaine, always seem to know who to talk to, what to say and where to go.  We would be lost without them.  The woman at the CPS was quite incredulous at why we would want to adopt a child, from Guyana, when we have 4 already.  "Isn't that big enough family?!"  Explaining the size of my family back home, five didn't seem that large to her anymore and that seemed to alleviate her concerns.  Then it was off to the Red Cross Convalescent Home to meet Akeem. 
It felt almost surreal walking into the place.  Like we were in a dream or something.  We looked over a gated door into a room full of about 10 little boys, between 1 and 3 years old.  We didn't recognize him at first, until they pulled him out of the little crowd and lead him to us.  He was beautiful.  He just looked at us, sucking his thumb and staring at us with his big brown eyes.  I picked him up and he clung to me.  Both arms around my neck tightly and his little face right up next to my cheek.  It was quite the moment!  Derek went to rub his back and he slapped his hand away and clung tighter.  He isn't used to men at all and for the first few hours he stared suspiciously at him.  He wouldn't take anything from Derek, it had to be passed to me first.  We got in the taxi, and with Akeem in my lap we drove to the hospital to get our medicals done.  The medicals were more of a formality than anything, and we passed with flying colors.  We had to get some lab work done for Akeem and once we got the results the doc signed our medicals as PASSED.  During this time Akeem fell asleep in my arms and I had a chance to pass him to Derek.  When he awoke in Derek's arms he was still a bit suspicious but in a short time he was quite comfy sitting with Derek.
After the medicals we went out for lunch with Shaneika and Jermaine.  Akeem wasn't a big fan of the rice, but he ate more chicken than Derek did!  I had to give him small amounts at a time because he filled his mouth like a little chipmunk so he wouldn't miss out on any food. 
We brought him back and the car ride was a lot of fun.  Akeem had discovered the power window, something he had never seen before.  He started laughing and giggling everytime it went up and down.  It was the first time we had seen him smile.  He has a beautiful smile and a contagious laugh.  It was very hard to bring him back to the orphanage and leave him there so soon after meeting him.  He clung onto his stuffed puppy our kids had picked out for him.  Luckily it was time for ice cream at the orphanage and so our leaving wasn't really a big deal for him.
It was a day of very mixed emotions.  Joy at meeting the child who will hopefully be our son.  Sorrow at knowing where he has been all this time, hearing the story of his life and the difficulties he has had to face.  It was sad seeing all of the other kids at the home, knowing the uphill battles they face in life. 
When you go through a process like this, there are always things that don't go according to plan.  Our day went very smoothly, but there will be some major hurdles up ahead.  We originally had been told that there would be a 2-3 month wait between this trip and our next trip/court date.  Today we were told it would be more like 5-6 months.  This was a huge disappointment for us.  It could be faster, but it's not likely.  We were also told at the beginning of the process that the second trip would have to be 3 weeks.  Today we were told that they expect us to be here for 5 weeks.  It could be 4, but not likely.  This is also incredibly disappointing, and is causing us a great deal of anxiety.  We will get through it, God has lead us this far!  But the thought of leaving my other children for 5 weeks, is terrifying.
Akeem is an awesome little boy.  He has a big belly and chubby arms.  He has huge hands and feet.  His eyes are black as coal and the white of his eyes are pure white.  We both felt a bond with him by the time our day with him was over.  Tomorrow we plan to go back and visit him again.
It's easy to let anxiety take over when our emotions are all over the place, the road ahead seems very daunting, and there is so much at stake.  We are so thankful that God has a plan for us, and that we can trust in that.  When we look at how our story has unraveled so far, in all it's details and complexities, it's impossible not to see God's hand in it.  So we will just keep looking to Him!

The Craziest Weekend Ever

How do we even begin to tell you how this weekend has transpired.  It began as what was supposed to be a relaxing weekend at the Americana Hotel in Niagara Falls, swimming with our kids and spending time with my brother and sister's families.  We pulled into the parking lot, just ready to check in and our adoption agency called our cell.  "We found a boy" was the first words I heard, and my heart just about stopped beating.  We spent the next 20 minutes in the van with the kids looking very puzzled as they wondered why mom was crying on the phone. The kids were ecstatic when we shared the news. 
For the next day, while Derek played in the water park with the kids, I was on the phone at the hotel frantically booking flights, trying to get malaria prescriptions, arranging time off work for Derek, arranging childcare, talking to our agency about details and confirming those details with the woman we were to meet in Guyana. 
At the end of the day we had it all planned.  We had to be at the airport at 7 pm the next day.
After finishing up our day at the water park on Saturday, we raced home and packed, and left with Derek's Aunt Ineke for Pearson Airport.
It was all going smoothly
 Someone asked  me once "how on earth does a person loose their wallet in an airport??"
Somehow Derek managed to do this.
While Derek raced around the terminal, getting all of the people from Carribean airlines, and all Pearson Security involved in the search, I sat in the terminal praying!
It was 20 minutes before the plane was going to take off, we were still looking and praying.   All hope was almost lost when I got a call on my cell.  "hello this is pearson international airport.  We are looking for Derek Slingerland.  We have his wallet!"  It was found by an employee at the bottom of an escaltor, and returned with everything in it.
We boarded the plane with 10 minutes to spare.  Incredibly thankful!
The plane was pure torture for Derek.  We didn't get to sit together and the pressure was killing his head.  But at 7:20 this morning we finally arrived at Cheddi Jaggen International Airport in Georgetown Guyana.  Our driver, Jermaine was waiting patiently for us and proceeded to take us to our hotel.  The 40 minute drive was completed in 20 minutes!  Everytime I thought we were about to get in a head on collision I realized we were supposed to be driving on the left side.  There are people, dogs, kids and cows all over the roads here. 
The hotel is pretty nice.  Its clean (and that's a big deal for me), breakfast was good (that's a big deal for Derek), and it's safe....there is razor wire on everything here.  We slept for four hours and went to go exploring since we couldn't go visit the orphanage on Sunday.
Georgetown is a city of crazy contrasts.  Lush, green, beautiful trees full of flowers, are growing in ditches full of garbage.  One minute you smell amazing Caribbean food, fresh salty air and the aroma of the flowers, the next minute you get a waft of diesel fumes and open sewers.  The people here are incredibly friendly.  Everyone honks at us as we walk down the street, and teenagers were eager to get their pictures taken with us.  So far we are the only Caucasian people we have seen here.
We went to the Stabroek Market and bought lots of fresh fruit, walked to St. George's Cathedral and walked to the Seawall by the ocean.  The beach is filled with silt and the water looks like chocolate.  On the beach there is garbage, jellyfish, and dead fish everywhere. There is also trampolines with kids, bbqed chicken and cows grazing.  We have never seen such a crazy place.  Everyone hangs out there, and on a relaxing Sunday afternoon it is the place to be.  We literally saw only one public garbage can in the 30 blocks we walked today.  The amount of garbage on the ground, everywhere, is staggering.
Houses range from being clean brightly colored houses, to shacks with wood roofs that would barely keep out water....right beside each other.  There are taxis everywhere, and everyone asks if you need a ride.  There are many homeless people on the streets begging but their are also many children who are well dressed.  The kids are beautiful here, and a lot of care goes into their appearance.  Everyone has their hair done up, clean clothes and nice shoes (or sometimes no shoes).  It is such a city of contrasts.
We are now off to bed.  Tomorrow is the day we meet our son to be!!!  So excited and so thankful to God for His plan :)

Praise God!!!!

We have news!!!!!!  We are so excited to announce that we have just got a referral for a little two and a half year old boy from Guyana!!!!!!!!!!  We don't have a lot of info but we just wanted to share the exciting news with you all :). We are praising God and are so thankful to Him for his goodness!!!!
We will update soon this is just a quick note to let you know that this is happening!!  Pray that things will continue to go smoothly and for our little boy that is miles away!

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!